幽默又有意义的200词英文演讲稿带翻译
A schoolteacher used to take a short nap every afternoon. 有一位老师每个下午都要打一下盹儿。
When his pupils asked him why he did so, he said that he went to dreamland to meet ancient sages. 当他的学生问他是怎么回事时，他回答说他到梦境中去见古代的圣人了。
One extremely hot day some of his pupils fell asleep in the classroom. When the school-teacher chided them, they said, We went to meet the sages in dreamland. 有一天，天气很热，有几个学生在教室里睡着了。
当这位老师斥责他们的时候，他们说：“我们去梦里见圣人了。
”What did they say? demanded the teacher. “他们说什么了
”老师问到。
We asked them if a school- teacher came there every afternoon, but they said they had seen no such person.“我们问他们是不是每天下午都有一个老师去他们那儿，但是他们说没见过这个人。
”
英语演讲稿3分钟（以中学生的视角写一篇带幽默有翻译的演讲稿，以爱好和学习方法为话题 ）
Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills. Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning. That's fine, roared the boss, but where were you Monday and Tuesday? 安眠药 鲍勃晚上失眠。
他去看医生，医生给他开了一些强力安眠药。
星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药，睡得很好，在闹钟响之前就醒了过来。
他到了办公室，遛达进去，对老板说：“我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有。
” “好啊!”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了
”
英语演讲稿，有趣的，励志的，有不
中文翻译
推荐一篇Change The Ingredients Of Your LifeThis is a glass of water, tasteless, right? However if you add sugar, it will taste sweet, but if you add vinegar, it will become bitter. The same is true with our life____ the flavor is created by our choices.If kindness is added to a strange you will have a friend; but if hostility is added, you will have an enemy. If love is added to a pile of red bricks you will have a home, but if hatred is add to those bricks , you will have an concentration camp.So my dear friends, never complain that life is boring and the world is disappointing. If don’t like the taste of your life, change the ingredients.Three year ago, I weighed more than 100 hundred kilograms which caused significant embarrassment and frustration in my life. Like always failing my P.E examinations, like always being laughed at by girls, like being terrified to speak in public. It was my grandmother’s encouragement that revived from my passive attitude to become confident in myself. She said “ My dear, if you can’t change you figure, why not treat it as your own style. So I began to cautiously employ the new way of thinking. By choosing to change my outlook on life, I developed the confidence to make a difference and finally I found a totally new world.So my dear friend, if faith, hope, love, endurance are added to your life, you will find the confidence to conquer your limitation and embrace new challenges. And hopefully with my speech included, you will have a fantastic speech contest.改变生活的味道这是一杯白开水，平淡无味，对吧
可是加上点糖呢，他尝起来会有甜味；如果加的是苏打水，味道就会变苦。
人生同样如此——个中滋味在于我们的选择。
善待他人，你会拥有朋友；但如果充满恶意，则会多个敌人。
将爱赋予一堆红砖，你会拥有一个家；用仇恨来浇铸这堆红砖，就会铸成一座集中营。
因此亲爱的朋友们，不要抱怨人生乏味，世间无望。
不喜欢生活的味道，那就换一换生活的调料吧
三年前，我重达100多公斤，这给我带来了很多尴尬和挫折：体育课老是不及格，总被女孩们嘲笑，更不敢当众发表意见。
幸而由于祖母的鼓励，我不在消极人生，而是充满自信。
她曾经说过：“孩子，如果体形无法改变，为什么不把它看做自己独特的风格呢
” 我开始这样来审视人生，通过改变生活的视角，我信心大增地去改变我的人生，很快就发现一个崭新的世界。
朋友们，将信念，希望，爱意和忍性溶入生命，你就会找到自信，克服缺点，迎接人生新的挑战。
最后我的演讲包括在内，希望你会看到一场精彩的演讲比赛。
英语演讲稿3分钟带翻译
Keep Your Direction 坚持你的方向What would you do if you failed? Many people may choose to give up. However, the surest way to success is to keep your direction and stick to your goal.On your way to success, you must keep your direction. It is just like a lamp, guiding you in darkness and helping you overcome obstacles on your way. Otherwise, you will easily get lost or hesitate to go ahead.Direction means objectives. You can get nowhere without an objective in life.You can try to write your objective on paper and make some plans to achieve it. In this way, you will know how to arrange your time and to spend your time properly. And you should also have a belief that you are sure to succeed as long as you keep your direction all the time.翻译：如果了你会怎么做
很可能会选择。
然而，要想成功，最可靠的方法就是坚的方向和目标。
在通往成功的路上，你必须坚持你的方向。
它就像一盏灯，在黑暗中为你指路，帮助你度过难关。
否则，你很容易就会迷失方向或犹豫不前。
方向意味着目标。
人生如果没有目标，将一事无成。
你可以试着把你的目标写在纸上，并制定实现目标的计划。
这样，你就会懂得如何合理安排时间，如何正确地支配时间。
而且你还要有这样的信念：只要你一直坚持自己的方向，你就一定可以成功。
求一篇5分钟左右 有趣的英语演讲稿。
要通俗易懂贴近生活、有趣。
幽默演讲——调侃自己（中英对照） 演讲者如何调侃自己作为一个演讲者，我从观众那只得到过两种抱怨：一种是我讲话声音太大了，他们无法入睡；第二种是我讲得时间太长了，他们无法一直清醒。
As a speaker, I’ve only had two complaints from audiences. One, that I talk so loud they can’t fall asleep. And two, that I talk so long they can’t stay awake.创新句子：你们或者睡觉，或者不睡，只要不打呼噜，我就接着讲。
作为一个讲演者，他的演讲总拿来和林肯的哥得堡演讲[一个著名的演讲]相比较。
当他演讲结束时，也有悲伤、眼泪和悲痛——特别是计划委员会。
As a speaker, he has often been compared to Abraham Lincoln delivering the Gettysburg Address. When he finishes his speech, there is also sorrow, tears and mourning ---- especially by the program committee.幽默注释：演讲者讲得太糟糕了，组织者哭得很伤心。
演讲结束时，宴会主人感谢你从繁忙的日程中抽出时间来——你泰然自若，优雅地点头微笑着，心里非常清楚你日历上唯一的事情就是就早餐后喝点咖啡。
Poise is when you finish your speech and the toastmaster thanks you for taking time out of your busy schedule to be a part of their program --- and you nod and smile graciously knowing full well that the only thing on your calendar is a little coffee from breakfast.幽默注释：一些老干部退休后没什么事干，有人请他参加一些活动，他还假装很忙，好象推开了很多事才赶去似的。
过去我演讲时常常会比较紧张，但那时我看到一条信息说如果你想象所有的观众都是裸体会有所帮助。
此时此刻，我站在这里想象着观众都是裸体，真的起作用，我不再紧张了，但眼睛有些疲劳。
I used to get nervous when giving a speech but then I read that it helps to think of the entire audience as being naked. And so, at this very moment, I’m standing up here imagining every one in this audience as being naked. And it really works. I no suffer from nervousness. Eyestrain. Yes.幽默注释：把观众想象成裸体，意思是我不怕你们，就不紧张了。
创新句子：大部分人站在讲台上都会有点儿紧张，我属于少部分人，我非常紧张。
我本人不自负——我简直不能告诉你们我是多么钦佩我这一点。
Personally, I have never been conceited --- and I can’t tell you how much I admire myself for that.幽默句子：他因为自己不自负，所以变得非常骄傲。
创新句子：我一点儿都不自负，我希望别人也这么看我。
我先用简单明了的英语演讲，以后我再翻译给律师听。
Let me put this into plain English. I’ll translate it for the lawyers later.幽默注释：律师总喜欢用复杂的语言，简单的话都听不懂了。
创新句子：我的讲话有三个版本，小学生版本，中学生版本，大学生版本，你是听小学一年纪版的，还是小学二年纪版的
如果你听过这个故事，请不要打断我，我就知道这一个故事。
If you’ve already heard this story, please don’t stop me because it’s the only one I know.幽默注释：就是你知道两个故事，讲故事前也可以这么说。
创新句子：我讲个笑话，如果你们听过，也希望装做没听过，我也这样照顾你们。
演讲就象给草坪浇水，如果有四分之一的水渗下去你就满意了。
Making a speech is like watering a lawn. You’re satisfied if just a quarter of it sinks in.幽默注释：有人打呼噜，有人说话，都是正常的，有四分之一观众听就不错了。
演讲开始时我们有一些共同点，你们不知道我要讲什么——我也不知道。
At the very start, let me just say that we both have something in common. You don’t know what I’m going to say --- and neither do I.幽默句子：即兴演讲的开场白。
创新句子：我不知道你们会不会喜欢我的演讲，我不知道我要讲点儿什么。
开始前我想告诉你们下面的演讲已经编辑成了电视节目，我现在少讲20分钟，我们能够及时赶回家看2台的节目。
Before I begin, I want you to know that the following speech has been edited for television. I cut 20 minutes out of it so we could all get home in time for the game on channel 2.幽默注释：放着现场不看，偏要回家在电视上看。
可能你们有些人知道我今晚出现在这里有两个原因：第一个原因是你们的计划委员会一直在设法寻找一个聪明、有趣、老练的演讲者，——他们找到了。
第二个原因是那个人病了，所以就打电话把我找来了。
As some of you may know, I’m appearing here tonight for two very good reasons. The first reason is your Program Committee was trying to find a speaker who’s intelligent, entertaining, sophisticated --- and they did. The second reason is, he got sick so they called me.幽默注释：一开始好象在说自己很牛，其实就是个临时替场。
创新句子：我认为我演讲很风趣，可为什么没人笑呢
有人有舞台恐惧症，我没有；舞台不会怎么样我，是观众快把我吓死了
Some people suffer from stage fright. I don’t. The stage doesn’t bother me at all. It’s the audience that scares the hell out of me!幽默注释：stage fright舞台恐惧症，而不是舞台吓唬我。
我们每个人都希望能在某一时刻把时钟拨回去。
如果我能够把时钟拨回去45分钟，我就是这间房间里最幸福的人，我把演讲稿落在厨房桌子上了。
At one time or another, I think each of us has wished we could turn back the clock. I know if I could turn back the clock just 45 minutes, I’d be the happiest person in this room. Because that’s when I left my speech on the kitchen table.幽默注释：自己上台前还在刻苦练习，演讲稿落家里了，讲错了希望观众包涵。
我不想吹牛，但上次我演讲时所有的观众都站了起来，他们再也没有坐下，直到走到他们的汽车那儿。
I don’t want to brag, but the last time I did this it brought the audience to its feet. And they never sat down again until they reached their cars.幽默注释：观众听他演讲，都站起来走了，他还在吹牛呢。
创新句子：我演讲时用一种平缓的语速娓娓道来，观众睡得很香甜。
如果我有点儿犹豫，你们一定要原谅我，这是我第一次饭后演讲——在卖当劳里冲我的小孩儿喊叫除外。
If I’m a little hesitant, you’ll have to excuse me. This is the first after-dinner speech I’ve ever made ---except for yelling at my kids in McDonald’s.幽默注释：自嘲自己演讲没什么经验。
创新句子：你可能知道我已经养成了饭后演讲的习惯。
我不习惯面对这么多观众演讲，让我鼓起勇气的一件事情就是我在谈论我最喜欢的题目——我。
I’m not used to speaking to such a large audience. The one thing that gives me courage is that I’m speaking on my favorite subject --- me.幽默注释：电视上老是邀请一些名人在那儿大谈自己，这些人开场可以这么说。
人们总问我为什么我戴顶10加仑的红色帽子（或者一些其它非常显眼的衣服饰品），我告诉他们那是我采取的积极现实的生活态度。
我知道不管发生什么事情，善良的上帝总在注视着我们。
现在地球上有60亿人，我希望上帝能从芸芸众生中一眼就挑出我来。
People always ask me why I wear a big red ten gallon hat (or some other very noticeable article of clothing) and I tell them. It has to do with taking a positive but practical view of life. For instance, I know that no matter what happens, the good Lord is watching over us. Then again, there are now six billion of us, so I want to make darn sure He can pick me out of the crowd.幽默注释：多么新颖的创意，戴顶绿帽子就想引起上帝注意。
创新句子：别再说谎了，趁上帝还没注意你。
如果你们允许我准备读我的讲稿，我有三个理由：第一，我记忆力非常差——其它两个原因我记不清了。
With your permission, I’m going to read this paper. I’m going to read it for three reasons: one, I have a very poor memory –and the other two I can’t remember.幽默注释：为自己忘词找好借口。
创新句子：我记忆力不好，我忘了把讲稿带来。
不必要的单词是精彩演讲的祸根，我再重复一遍…Unnecessary words are the bane of good speeches. Let me repeat that…幽默注释：这时候重复带来很好的效果。
创新句子：演讲时最忌讳重复，我再说一遍：千万不要重复。
有时候确实让人糊涂，你看见代表举起了胳膊，但你根本确定不了他是在凭良心选举还是在检查他的关节炎。
It did get a little confusing at times. If you saw a delegate raising his arm, you could never be quite sure if he was voting his conscience or testing his arthritis.幽默注释：有人举胳膊未必是在真心选你。
创新句子：选举时只要我关节炎不犯，我肯定会举手。
对不起，（从钱包里拽出一张纸币，象拿手绢一样，在上面打喷嚏，然后扔掉）如果说我憎恨什么的话，那就是炫耀。
Excuse me. (Pull a bill from your wallet, handle it as you would a handkerchief, sneeze and then throw the bill away and say) If there’s one I hate ostentation.幽默注释：炫耀吧，有钱人有炫耀的资本。
创新句子：我不想炫耀，有学问的人不爱炫耀。
你们都知道，在公司里我只要求员工三件事：诚实、正直和崇拜偶像。
As you know, in all these years with the company, I have only asked for three things from my staff: honesty, integrity and idolatry.
需要一篇不超过3分钟的英语演讲稿，要幽默有趣，中英对照
An Alarm Clock A young man went to a mountain village for his holiday. One night he stayed at a small hotel near a train station. Before going to bed, he went to the owner of the hotel and said to the old man, “ Excuse me, sir. Will you please wake me up at a quarter to five? I'm going to take the five o'clock train tomorrow morning. ” “ Oh, sorry, ” the owner said, “ I am afraid I can't. I don't get up that early. ” The young man started to go back to his room when he stopped and asked, “ Do you have an alarm clock? That would help me. ” “ Yes, here it is, young man. ” The young man took the clock happily and thanked the old man. But when he looked at it carefully, there appeared to be something wrong with it. “ Does it ring on time? ” he asked the old man. “ Sure! Just shake it when it's time to get up, and it'll ring. ” 一只闹钟 一个年轻人到一个山村去度假。
那天夜里，他住宿在火车站附近的一个旅馆里。
上床睡之前，他对旅馆老板——一个老头儿说：“对不起，先生，请问您能在五点差一刻叫醒我吗
我明天早晨要乘五点的火车。
” “哦，很抱歉”，旅馆老板说，“恐怕不行，我不可能起那么早。
” 年轻人正想回到房间去，又停住了问：“那你有闹钟吗
或许它能帮助我。
” “我有，给你，年轻人。
” 年轻人很高兴地拿了闹钟，谢了老头儿。
但当他仔细查看了闹钟后，发现似乎有毛病。
“它能准时闹吗
”他问老头儿。
“那当然
时间一到，你摇一摇，他就会响的。
”
英语演讲稿一分钟，带翻译
Hello,everyoneDo you like sport? I like it very much! Sometimes I like to do some sports with my friends. You should do the sport more, because it is very good for your healthy! On your free time, how about running?I always do it! Why don't you play basketball with your friends? It's very interesting! I think so. And why don't you play some games, it can relax to you!Would you like to do some sports and play some games with me? Welcome to you!That's all. Thank you!你好，每个人
你运动我非常喜欢它
有时候，我喜欢和我的朋做一些运动。
你应该做更多的运动，因为它对你的身体是很好的
在你的空闲时间，如何运行
我总是这样做
你为什么不与你的朋友玩篮球吗
这是非常有趣的
我是这么认为的。
你为什么不玩一些游戏，它可以放松你的
你想做一些运动和我玩游戏吗
欢迎你
这一切。
谢谢你
三分钟幽默演讲稿英语
三 Expensive Price Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth. Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction. Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office. 昂贵的 牙科医生：起，夫人，为给您的儿子拔我得收二十五美元 母亲：二十五美元
可是我知道您拔一颗牙只要五美元呀
牙科医生：是的。
但是您儿子这么大声地叫唤，他都吓跑四位病人了
求生动有趣、有感染力的小学英语演讲稿（有翻译）。
Respect the freedom of animals Now if I ask you where you would go if you want to see wild animals，where would come into your mind first? Maybe 50 years ago you would say, “go to a wild forest,” but now you would probably say “the zoo” right? Lots of wild animals are losing their freedom by being caged in a zoo. In lots of zoos, animals are trained to do tricks to earn money for people. This will surely restrict the animals’ freedom. But what do most of the zoos care for more, money or animals? If you were an animal, would you be happy being cramped by a zoo into a limited space where you could not move freely? So why let the animals be sick to death in a zoo? I once read a story about a kid who saved his allowance for years and bought a rare turtle from a zoo to take it back to its wild home. If you truly care about animals, do something like that. Wise mankind, start on it now. Respect our animal friends and the freedom they should enjoy. 尊重动物的自由 如果我问你到那儿去看野生动物，你首先会想到哪里
50年以前您可能会说“到野生森林”但现在就可能会说“动物园”对吗
现在许多动物被关进动物园失去自由，许多动物园训练动物来赚钱，这完全限制了动物们的自由。
但是动物园更关心钱还是动物
如果您是一个动物，被束缚在有限的空间不能自由活动，您会快乐吗
那么为什么让动物们在动物园中痛苦至死
我曾读过一个小男孩自己十年的零花钱积攒起来，买下一种珍贵的乌龟将它放归大自然的故事。
明智的人类如果真的关心动物，象小男孩一样行动起来，尊重我们的动物朋友和他们影响由的自由。
