01. 人生的最大遗憾莫过于错误地坚持了不该坚持的，轻易地放弃了不该放弃的……
The most regret ion of live is insist on something that shouldn’t be insisted on, give up something that shouldn’t be given up
02. 大师兄，你知道吗?二师兄的肉现在比师傅的都贵了。
Tang Monk/Tang Priest, don’t you know piggy is more valuable than you? (The Pilgrimage to the West)
03. 怀才就像怀孕，时间长了才能看出来。
Having knowledge likes having pregnant, it takes times to be awareness.
04. 还能冲动，表示你还对生活有激情，总是冲动，表示你还不懂生活。If you acts on impulse, you have passions in life, if you always acts on impulse, you don’t know what life is.
05. 我问一个在深圳工作了二十年的朋友：“如果你死后，你的墓志铭打算写点啥?”他说：“我解决了住房问题!”
I asked a question to a friend who has been working in Shenzhen for 20 years, what would be the proudest things in your life if you died?
He said: I have already pay back the mortgage loan of my
06. 妈妈说人最好不要错过两样东西，最后一班回家的车和一个深爱你的人。Mom said you’d better not miss two things , the last bus to home and the person who loves you deeply.
07. 一天看到一位大妈在烧纸，边烧边嘟囔着：收到了全都买基金吧~~One day I saw a old woman was burning paper money and
mumbled : buy funds if you get it.
08. 好的爱情是你透过一个男人看到世界，坏的爱情是你为了一个人舍弃世界……
A good love is you find the world for a man; a bad love is you abandon the world for a man.
09. 诸葛亮出山前，也没带过兵!凭啥我就要工作经验?
Before Liang Zhuge coming out, he didnt have experience in leading the army! why i should have experience when look for a job?
10. 如果你看到面前的阴影，别怕，那是因为你的背后有阳光……
If you saw the dark in front of you, dont be afriad, that's because sunshine is at your back.
钞票不是万能的，有时还需要信用卡。
2)Oneshouldloveanimals.Theyaresotasty.
每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。
3)Savewater.Showerwithyourgirlfriend.要节约用水，尽量和女友一起洗澡。
4)Lovetheneighbor.Butdon?tgetcaught.
要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她的老公知道。
5)Behindeverysuccessfulman,thereisawoman.Andbehindeveryunsuccessfulman,therearetwo.每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人。每个不成功男人的背后，都有两个女人。
6)Everymanshouldmarry.Afterall,happinessisnottheonlythinginlife.
再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，幸福不是永久的嘛。
7)Thewisenevermarry,Andwhentheymarrytheybecomeotherwise.
聪明人都是未婚的，结婚的人很难再聪明起来。
8)Successisarelativeterm.Itbringssomanyrelatives.
成功是一个相关名词，他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚（联系）。
9)Neverputofftheworktilltomorrowwhatyoucanputofftoday.
不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。
10)Loveisphotogenic.Itneedsdarknesstodevelop.
爱情就象照片，需要大量的暗房时间来培养。（老外也保守，要摸黑办事，哈哈）
11)Childreninbackseatscauseaccidents.Accidentsinbackseatscausechildren.后排座位上的小孩会生出意外，后排座位上的意外会生出小孩。
12)"Yourfuturedependsonyourdreams."Sogotosleep."
现在的梦想决定着你的将来"，所以还是再睡一会吧。
13)Thereshouldbeabetterwaytostartadaythanwakingupeverymorning.
应该有更好的方式开始新一天，而不是千篇一律的在每个上午都醒来。
14)"Hardworkneverkilledanybody."Butwhytaketherisk?"
"努力工作不会导致死亡！"不过我不会用自己去证明。
15)"Workfascinatesme."Icanlookatitforhours!"
"工作好有意思耶！"尤其是看着别人工作。
16)Godmaderelatives;ThankGodwecanchooseourfriends.
神决定了谁是你的亲戚，幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给了你留了余地。
17)Whentwo?scompany,three?stheresult!两个人的状态是不稳定的，三个人才是！
18)Adressislikeabarbedfence.Itprotectsthepremiseswithoutrestrictingtheview.服饰就象铁丝网，它阻止你冒然行动但并不妨碍你尽情的观看。
最新的幽默有内涵的英文句子
1、How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
直译：一根火柴能点着整片森林，一盒火柴也生不起个营火，这咋回事!
意译：想当年哥戴套都能让人怀孕，看今朝叔竟然去看男科。
2、If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it?
如果4/5的人在忍受腹泻的痛苦，那剩下1/5咋回事?很享受吗?
3、Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
直译：知识就是说你知道西红柿是一种水果;智慧就好似不要把它放进水果沙拉里。
意译a：知识就是告诉你说应该把鸡蛋放进篮子，智慧则是叫你不要把所有鸡蛋都放进一个篮子。
意译b：所谓知识就是知道韩少和小四都属于80后，但智慧的猫扑告诉你这终还是男女有别~
4、If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
上帝瞅着咱们呢，大伙好歹喜感点吧!
5、 Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
海豚可聪明了你知道不?只要驯养几个星期，它们就能让人类乖乖站在池边给它们扔鱼吃了。
6、I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
老子拼死拼活奋斗到食物链顶端，不是为了成为一个素食者。
7、A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
公车站呀公车停，火车站呀火车停，俺桌上有个工作站。
8、If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.
要是我听你的，咱俩就都2B了。
经典的幽默有内涵的英文句子
1. Never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you.
麻烦没来找你，就别去自找麻烦。
第一、四个trouble是动词，第二、三个trouble是名词。
2. I think that that that that that student wrote on the blackboard was wrong.
我认为那个学生写在黑板上的那个“that”是错误的。
第一个that是连词，引起宾语从句;第二、五个that是指示代词“那个”;第三个that在这儿相当于名词;第四个that是关系代词，引起定语从句。
3. I know. You know. I know that you know. I know that you know that I know.
我知道。你知道。我知道你知道。我知道你知道我知道。
4. We must hang together, or we'll be hanged separately.
我们必须团结在一起，否则我们将被一个个绞死。
这是一句双关语。前面的hang together是“团结一致”的意思，后面的hanged是“绞死”的意思。
5. The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog.
那只敏捷的棕色狐狸跳过了一只懒惰的狗。
这个句子包含了英语中的26个字母。
6. Was it a bar or a bat I saw?
我看到的是酒吧还是蝙蝠?
这是一句回文句，顺着读和倒着读是一样的。
7. 2B or not 2B, that is a question?
这是一种文字简化游戏。它的意思是：To be or not to be, that is a question. (生存还是毁灭，那是一个问题。)
优秀的幽默有内涵的英文句子
1、I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
开始我直接求上帝赐辆自行车，后来我琢磨上帝办事儿不是这个路数，于是老子偷了一辆然后求上帝宽恕。
2、I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
我希望能像爷爷那样，安静地在睡梦中死去，而不是要像他开的车上那些惨叫滴乘客一样死法啊!
3、Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
你永远不能战胜一个纯SB，因为他会把你的智商拉到跟他个水平，然后用丰富的经验打败你。
4、The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
直译：在这个世界上，我最不愿意做的事就是伤害你，但是这件事仍在我的考虑之列。
意译a：我真不想伤害你，但你也别逼我。
意译b：吾虽不杀伯仁，伯仁由我而死。
5、Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
晚间新闻总是以“晚上好”开头，再告诉你你为什么好不了。
b. 若XXOO是下体的痛，那么，是你操错。
6、The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
a. 早起滴小鸟有虫虫!晚到的老鼠有奶酪!
b. 早起的鸟儿有虫吃，早起的虫儿被鸟吃。
7、We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
在咱们这噶哒送外卖的都比警察来的快.
8、Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.
XXOO就象打桥牌。如果对手不好使，自己的手必须好使。
9、 Some people are like Slinkies,not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
有些人就像Slinkies(弹簧玩具)，没什么实在用处，但看他们在楼梯上倒腾来捣腾去还是很有喜感。
10、Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
政客和纸尿布有一个共同点就是：他们都很有规律地被替换，而且因为同一个理由——脏了!
11、War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
战争不能决出正义，但能判出哪方出局。
12、Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
a. 女人的高潮可能是装出来的，但是男人TMD可以整段感情都是装出来的!
b. 女人假装高潮以获取真实的感情，男人假装感情以获取真实的高潮。
13、We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
我们永远不可能真正的成熟，我们只是学会在众人面前装逼。
14、Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.
XXOO并不是结论而是个问题，爽不爽才是答案。
15、Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
光总是比声音跑的快点，这就是为嘛有些SB只有在开口说话之后你才发现他是在装B。
16、My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
我妈每次对着我骂草泥马的时候都没看出其中笑点。
17、I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
曾以为我想要的是职业，结果发现我只是想要工资。
18、If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
你要是觉得没人在乎你的死活，那你不妨尝试一下跟你的债主玩躲猫猫~~
