英语小品剧本+翻译
应该翻译成 “短暂的电影剧本”吧
小品剧本翻译成英语
why am i so ugly? no one wants to play with me.then Bird B came flying by.C.B.: i can be your friendA. i don't have long tales or beautiful feathers
英语2人小品剧本带翻译
An English play---- Pig Guy has been defeated by Monkey King 悟空：师傅，是不是太累了
休息一下再走吧。
Master, are you tired? Let’s have a rest. 唐僧：没关系，前面不远就有人家了，到了那里再休息吧。
I am fine. Let’s have a rest later. Look! There is a house over there. 悟空仔细地搀扶唐僧继续行走，同时另一边老头、老妈、小媳妇出场。
小媳妇（做哭状）：爹、妈，我…… Daddy, mommy, I, I … 老头：女儿，快走吧，不然那猪精来了，就走不了了。
Honey, hurry up. The spirit is coming soon. 小媳妇走几步又回头跑回老妈的怀里，抱头痛哭。
老头在一边叹息，擦泪。
唐僧、悟空走到他们面前。
悟空：师傅，到了。
Master, here we are. 唐僧（走到老头面前行礼，悟空看见了正在哭的母女俩，觉得奇怪，上下打量）：老施主，我是从 东土大唐前往西天取经的和尚，想借贵地休息一晚，不知方便否
Excuse me, sir. I am the monk from the east. Can we stay over here tonight? 老头（做哽咽状）：哦，是东土大唐来的高僧啊，可以可以。
（别过脸去继续哭泣） Oh, you are the monk from the east. Sure. Sure, come in, please …… 唐僧正在奇怪，老妈闻声抬起头，仔细打量唐僧，突然扑到唐僧面前。
老妈：高僧啊，你可要救救我的女儿，救救我们一家啊。
Master, please save my daughter, save my family… 唐僧：老施主休要伤心，有什么事慢慢说。
Don’t be sad, madam. Take it easy. What happened? 老头：高僧有所不知，我们这里有一只猪精，今天要来跟我女儿成亲，大家都斗不过它，现在正 准备把女儿送出去逃避 Master, there is a spirit here. He wants to marry my daughter, tonight. We are all afraid of him. 唐僧：施主莫怕，我这徒弟本领高强，也许他能帮上你们。
Calm down, sir. My apprentice has great capability. Maybe, he can help you. 老头：唉，高僧啊，以前也来过自称本领高强的师傅，结果都被这猪精打跑了。
今天你们就躲着 别出来了吧。
Alas! , master, there have been many people who boast to be very capable. But every time, they were defeated by the spirit. You’d better keep away tonight. 悟空：噢，有这么厉害的妖怪
我倒要会他一会。
待会你们只管躲起来，外面发生什么事，都不 用管。
What? Is the spirit really so strong? I’d like to see how great he is. All of you just stay inside. Don’t come out no matter what happens. 这时起了风声（音乐），老头一家吓得站起来混身发抖。
小媳妇吓得直往老妈怀里钻。
悟空镇定 地举手示意，让师傅及老头一家人躲到房间里面去。
自己也手搭凉篷看了看，便不慌不忙地也躲 在了门后，露出一段红袖子。
猪八戒大笑着耀武扬威地走上场来，嘴里大喊：小娘子，我来了。
Darling, here I am. 站在台上停一下，见没有动静，觉得奇怪，往房屋里看去，见露出一段红袖子，高兴地一拍手掌。
八戒：小娘子还害羞呢，不敢出来见老猪吗
来，来，来，我们就要是夫妻了，还害什么羞呀
。
Darling, don’t be so shy! Please come to me. Come on, we will be a couple. 猪八戒跑上去轻轻拉住红袖子，把小娘子拖了出来，小娘子作出害羞的样子，有时又做出猴子的 模样。
八戒：小娘子，不用怕，我虽然长得丑，但本领高强，一定会让你过上好日子的。
Darling, don’t be afraid. Although I am ugly, I am so powerful. I am sure that I can make you happy. 小娘子笑着点头，抓耳挠腮。
八戒：小娘子，你高兴的时候干嘛要像猴子一样
Darling, why do you look like a monkey ? 小娘子：我一高兴就觉得痒，所以就抓一抓。
When I am happy, I always tickle. 八戒：高兴就好，高兴就好。
我们快入洞房吧。
Fine, let’s go to the bedroom. 八戒拉住小娘子就往房子里面钻。
小娘子作出动脑筋的样子，又把八戒拉回来。
八戒：哇，小娘子，你好大的力气啊，干嘛把我拉出来啊
Darling. Why are you so powerful? 小娘子：夫君，你这模样进去会吓着我的父母的，还是去你家里吧。
Honey, your appearance will frighten my parents. We’d better go to your home. 八戒：去我家
那太好了，我们这就走吧。
Go to my house
OK. that’s a great idea. Let’s go. 两人走了几步，小女子做出腿疼摔了一下的样子，八戒忙扶起她，作出痛惜的样子。
小女子：我一个弱女子，哪里能走这么远
夫君背我吧。
I cannot walk any further. Can you carry me on your back? 八戒：背你
好，好，好。
谁让你是我的媳妇呢
Carry you on my back? All right. You're my wife after all. Come on. 八戒把小女子背上：娘子，我们这就出发了。
Darling, Let's go. 小女子（在八戒头上一点）：走吧，呆子。
Okay. Let’s go. 音乐响起(直到八戒摔倒)。
八戒在台上走一圈，做出越走越慢，越走越累的样子。
小女子在他背 上抓耳挠腮，非常高兴。
八戒：小娘子，你怎么这么重啊
Darling, why are you so heavy? 小女子：不是我重，只怕是你不想背我吧
Do you think so? Don't you want to carry me?) 八戒：不,不,不，我背，我背。
Yes, I do. I do. 继续艰难地走。
小女子得意地在背上笑。
八戒体力不支，一跤摔倒，小女子倒地之后， 灵活地越上台上的假山，先做出猴子笑看八戒的样子，再做出摔疼了的样子在那里呻吟。
八戒听到女子的呻吟，忙东张西望找小媳妇。
八戒：娘子，摔着了没有
娘子，摔着了没有
娘子，你摔到哪去了
怎么看不见你了
Darling, are you OK? Darling, where are you? Why can't I see you? 小女子（偷偷地笑，再装作痛苦的样子）：夫君，我在这里呢。
Honey, I am here. 八戒：哇，娘子, 你怎么摔到高的地方去了
Darling. Why did you go up there? 小女子：还不是你这呆子害的。
That's your fault. 八戒：对不起，娘子。
对不起，娘子。
Sorry, darling. I’m very sorry. 小女子：看你这么辛苦，我也摔疼了，那就休息休息吧。
You look so tired, and I feel sore. Let’s have a rest. 八戒：太好了。
我们就休息一下吧
Have a rest? That’s a good idea. Let’s have a rest. 八戒听了高兴地坐在下面休息，小女子仔细地打量他。
小女子（撒娇地）：夫君，你是哪里的神仙，我都还不知道，怎么能嫁给你呢
你可要告诉我。
Honey, how can I marry you? I don’t even know where you come from. You must tell me the truth first. 八戒：唉，别提了，想当年我本是天上的天篷元帅，上天入地，八面威风。
只因冒犯了嫦娥， 被玉帝贬下凡尘，错投了猪胎，长成这般模样。
Alas! Don’t mention it. I was Tianpeng marshal, I could fly between heaven and the world. Only because I made a big mistake, I was punished by Yudi. So I became a pig. That’s why I am so ugly. 小女子：亏你长得这么丑，还敢出来见人。
You look too ugly to meet people. 八戒：本来我也不想出来，只是南海观音点化我，叫我在这里等候前往西天的取经人。
等了这么久， 也不见，便出来逛逛，能碰到娘子你，是我一生的造化，还管它什么西天取经呢
（八戒高兴地过 去想拉小女子的手） I didn’t want to come here. Nanhai Guanyin asked me to wait for Tangseng. I've been waiting for a long time, but nobody has come. It’s lucky to meet you here. 小女子（把手甩开）：你说自己是天上的神仙，怎么连我都背不动，真让人难以相信。
You said that you were an immortal in the heaven . Why can’t you carry me? It’s impossible! 八戒：我真的是天上的神仙，你干嘛不信呢你。
I am really the immortal. Why don’t you believe me? 小女子：那你拿出点本事来瞧瞧。
Show me some gongfu then. 八戒：好，让我露两手来给你看看。
OK, let me show you my gongfu. 从石头后拿出钉钯，舞了起来。
小女子暗暗点头。
当八戒的钉色舞到小女子面前时，被小女子一把 抓住，往石山后面一拖，八戒被拖了过去。
八戒：娘子，你怎么这么大的力气
Darling. Why are you so strong? 小女子：有本事你把我拖出去呀。
Pull me out if you can . 八戒做出用力拖的样子，没有发现拖出来的却是悟空。
悟空一松手，八戒摔倒在地。
八戒：娘子，你怎么这么狠心把我摔倒了? 不要开玩笑了。
How could you let me fall down? Don’t kid any longer. 悟空大笑：呆子，看看我是谁
You Silly! Look at me. Who am I? 八戒一看，吓得跳起来：齐天大圣，我的妈呀。
My god! You are Mahatma! 八戒转身想跑，被悟空拦住，两人打了起来，八戒不是对手，被悟空压住，不能动弹。
悟空：呆子，你可还敢在这里害人不成
You silly! Dare you harm others any more? 八戒：不敢了，不敢了。
No, I dare not! 悟空： 你可还敢在这里娶媳妇
Dare you wive yet? 八戒：不敢了。
大圣爷爷饶我。
No,no. Please forgive me, Mahatma. 悟空：量你也不敢。
I bet you dare not. 悟空放开，八戒转身想跑，被悟空一把抓住耳朵，疼得直叫。
悟空：呆子，想往哪里去
You silly, where are you going? 八戒：我已答应你，不再闹事了，干嘛还不放我走
I'll never make trouble any more. Why don't you let me go? 悟空：呆子，我带你去见取经人。
You silly, I'm taking you to meet the sutra-seeker. 八戒：什么
取经人来了
What? Has Tangseng come? 悟空：走吧。
Yes. Let's go! 两人在台上走半圈，来到房前。
悟空：师傅，出来吧，这妖怪已经被我降服了。
Master, please come out! The spirit has been defeated ! 唐僧等人走了出来，老头一家还有些战战兢兢。
悟空：呆子，还不跪下，见过师傅。
You silly, kneel down to meet your master. 八戒忙对着唐僧下跪，口喊师傅。
唐僧非常吃惊。
Master, nice to meet you here. 唐僧：徒儿，这是怎么回事
My prentice, what's up? 悟空：师傅，这是观世音菩萨特意让他在此等候陪您上西天取经的。
Master, he will accompany you to the west at Guanyin's behest. 唐僧：哦，多谢观世音菩萨，既然这样我就收你为徒，赐你法名为 八戒。
I see! Thank Guanyin! Since then, I will take you as my prentice and name you Bajie. 八戒：谢谢师傅（站了起来）。
Thank you, my master! 老头：恭喜高僧又收神徒。
Congratulations! 唐僧：徒儿们，我们上路吧。
（八戒还依依不舍地看着小女子） Let's go ahead, my prentices. 悟空：八戒，还看什么呢
走了。
Bajie, there is nothing to attach to. Let's go! 八戒恋恋不舍地走到前面带路。
采纳哦
英语小品剧本加翻译13人
----音乐起， 旁白： A long time ago, there was a queen. She had a pretty daughter named Snow White. Soon after the child was born, the queen died. The queen married another queen. The stepmother didn’t like her very much.She made Snow White do the housework all day and all night. 很久很久以前,有个皇后。
她有一个美丽的女儿,名叫白雪公主。
孩子出生后不久,女王死了。
女王又娶了一位女王。
可继母没有非常喜欢她。
白雪公主整天整夜地做家务。
----白雪出场 ( 扫地,做清洁.) 白雪：My name is Snow White , I am a beautiful princess, I miss my mother so much, Where is my mother? Where is my mother? 我的名字是《白雪公主》,我是一个美丽的公主,我很想念我的母亲,我的妈妈在哪里?我的妈 妈在哪里? ----音乐起，皇后出场 皇后：I’m the new queen. I’m very beautiful. you see. If anyone is more beautiful than me, I’ ll kill her. I have a magic mirror. If I want to know something, It will tell me. Now, mirror, mirror, come here! 我是新来的女王。
我很 beautiful.。
如果有人比我漂亮,我就杀了她。
我有一种神奇的镜子。
如果我想要知道的东西的话,那么它就告诉我。
现在,镜子,镜子,到这里来! 魔镜：Yes, I’m coming. What do you want to know? 是的,我来了。
你想知道些什么? 皇后：Mirror, mirror, on the wall.Who is the most beautiful? 镜子,镜子,在这世界上。
谁是最漂亮的? 魔镜：You are beautiful, I think.But there is a young lady. She is as white as snow, as red as rose.She is much more beautiful than you. 我想，你是美丽的,。
但有一个年轻的女士。
她像雪一样白,像朵玫瑰花。
她比你更漂亮。
皇后：She is much more beautiful than me?Who is she? Tell me quickly. 她比我漂亮得多吗?她是谁?快点告诉我 魔镜：Yes. She is Snow White. 是的。
她是《白雪公主》 皇后：Snow White? No, I’m the most beautiful in the world. Oh, hunter,come here, come here! 白雪公主?不,我是最美丽的,在世界上。
哦,猎人,过来,过来! 猎人：Yes. I’m here now.是的。
我现在在这里。
皇后：Hunter! Take Snow White far away to pick some flowers.Find a place and kill her.猎人!把 白雪公主带到很远,去采一些花。
找一个地方然后毙了她。
猎人：But she is the princess. …但她是公主。
… 皇后：No, Kill her. Bring her heart to me. I don’t want to see her again.不,杀了她。
把她的心交 给我吧。
我不想再见到她。
猎人：Yes! 皇后：Here is a box. You must put her heart in it and bring it to me.有一个盒子。
你们必须把她 的心留下来给我。
猎人：Yes! ----音乐起 白雪：( 高兴地摘花 ) One flower,two flowers,three flowers…. How many flowers! How beautiful!两朵花,一朵花,三朵花…。
有多少花!多么美丽! 猎人：( 慢慢地拔出刀,但犹豫着说 ) Oh! My God! She is so lovely and pretty! I can’t! I can’ t
初一的英语小品剧本 带翻译
12分钟好象有点长，我这里有我参加“星星火炬英语风采大赛”的剧本。
参考一下额 Time ancient times. Character Mister Dongguo, wolf, hunter, old apricot tree, Lao Niu, old farmer. In wilderness the mist and dust is billowing, shouts the acoustic shock day. In shouted that, fight wolves!pursues (a wolf belt arrow wound to go on stage) wolf: I originally am come from the north wolf, but in today the arrow was injured (wolf lamely to run) [ Mister Dongguo to carry on the book pouch, on the one hand walks on the other hand self-effacingly recites poetry.) Guo: From a pot of wine among the flowers I drank alone. There was no one with me -- Till, raising my cup, I asked the bright moon To bring me my shadow and make us three. (Between the flower a pot liquor, drinks alone without the intimate. Raises glass invites the bright moonlight, becomes three people to the shade) (suddenly to discover on road crowd of ants, heart of the mercy, has lifted a foot does not endure to lay down) Guo: (Reads) walks not injuries the cricket 蚁命 manner to have to have the mercy heart (cautiously to bypass ant, after continues to lead the way) (field shout big quake) Guo: What happened next? The United States military has joined battle with Iraq? (Wolf runs has come up) the wolf: The adult saves a life, behind had a hunter to have to peel my skin, rescued me! Guo: Good good, is the person to want to be sincere (was saying behind, dismounts the package, all but actually came out the inside book) Guo: You first hide in this package (wolf lamely sneak in package) (Mister Dongguo to carry book pouch, continues to walk) (on hunter) the hunter asks Guo: Ask scholar's, has seen the wolf which was injured to pass a moment ago? Guo: Not. Hunter: Thanks gentleman. After (under hunter) (waits hunter to walk far, Mister Dongguo put wolf from book pouch has gotten down) Guo: The hunter walked, you in a big hurry escape the wolf: Is not I does not want to walk, I really am tired hungry Guo: What then you do want to eat? Wolf: I must eat your meat! ! (Reveals fierce and antagonistic expression) Guo: Why then you do want to eat me? I have graciousness and you
两人演的英语故事或小品的剧本，要翻译，要小学生能背出来并且不难（看起来要有点难，实际上不难）转补充
(注意礼貌)Helen: Do you think the cat's okay?Alice: The cat? Seems fine to me. Why?Helen: I think we should take it to the doctor. It doesn't seem right to me.Alice: It's OK.Helen: No, It's not! You never listen to me. Alice, can you take it to the doctor?Alice: I'm sorry Helen. I'm working at the moment. Anyway, It seems alright, aren't you Kitty?Helen: I told you It's not well! Right, if you don't care, I'll take it!Helen left.Alice: What's wrong with her?海伦：你觉得这只猫的健康吗
爱丽斯：这只猫
似乎没什么问题。
为什么问
海伦：我想我们应该带它看医生。
我看它有些不妥。
爱丽斯：它没不妥。
海伦：不，它不是
你从来不听我的。
爱丽丝，你可以带它去看医生
爱丽斯：我很抱歉，海伦。
我目前正在工作。
无论如何，它看似乎没问题，不是吗小猫儿
海伦：我告诉你，它是病了
对了，如果你不在乎，我带它去
海伦离开爱丽斯：她有什么问题吗
英文小品剧本
初一就能演英文剧本，牛的很。
赵本山重大转型，从无聊忽悠到关注职场骗局!长安县令原创小品《招聘骗局》 ，帮你识破形形色色招聘骗局
直面2010严峻就业形势，讽刺企业招聘中的欺骗现状
本山大叔摆脱农民形象，马老板重装上阵；范伟化身职场精英，被忽悠防不胜防。
Boss table, large posters, screen background is South China tiger photos, wrote: Ma Mei Bai specialized only for women. Do you have ambitions do? You want to be master do? You want to be bosses do? Markov International is your life, toward the peak of the platform, space and South! Join an internationally renowned beauty Technology Group, planning, design a number of demanding full-time undergraduate degree or above. Here are two medals, Extreme Beauty Awards.Cai: Ma Dong, bad, and our Ma Mei Bai has been investigated as a non-conforming products for Trade and Industry, are online publicity it.Ma: What stuff? Mo Ji Mo panic. There is ah, what Ma Dong Dong Ma said that the number of times, and in front of is called chairman of the board in the office called Uncle! Do not know if it thought that the toilet has leaks.Cai: Uncle, that we supposed to do?Ma: a change in name, redesigned look at packaging, immediately the New Year, and put forward a promotional Han's. (See advertising paintings) on a whim called Tiger Whitening!Cai: gnaw Promotions do?MA: Do you recruit people?Cai: afternoon interview, and in 500 did.Ma: That gave him a few white, let him write the planning program, more than 3,000 words.(Fan on)Fan: Now working hard to find, some time ago on the Internet made more than 180 copies of resumes, only received eight telephone interviews, three of which still have not been invited, are claimed to be an international financial group, credit cards, selling insurance, illegal speculation of foreign exchange. Recently it, simply a no, I have thought that mobile phones are bad, and played a few their numbers. The economic crisis came, liar and a thief team has also expanded. Have to beware of those who get money through recruitment, and those who do not collect money, nothing. Package good, the money catch on, mobile phones Do not give people took to run!(SMS tone) Thank you for your candidates Ma International Group advertising business planning positions, please today at 2 pm to the International Building, 18th Floor, interview.Fan: It sent the message was quite timely Oh, yesterday came to the phone.Cai: Hello, Ma International.Fan: Hello, I come to interview.Cai: Yes, so we have taken a test of what you do first. Answered the post, there are media that we, chairman of the article, you must carefully read. Then we will personally interview, Chairman.(After reading a thick newspaper clippings)Cai: read it? Your way, please.Ma: I saw your program really did not expect.Fan: did not expect? Did not think it is good or bad ah?Ma: I mean, all you see, I still boss?Ma: I would first introduce the next company is doing. Markov Group's headquarters in Los Angeles, 98 years, entered China in 2002 set up Markov Future Laboratory Inc., dedicated to life sciences, genetic engineering and health and beauty research. Our strategy is to use 3-5 years in the United States, Japan, the establishment of five branches, with 3-5 years in China has established 15 branch offices, 88 core franchisee, in order to provide professional services to customers worldwide. In such a rapid development process, people are our greatest desire, I still believe that the most valuable one minute is to invest in employees for one minute. Buffett said that life is like a snowball, it is important to find a long slope. I believe the success of Markov International is your way of young people up to the slope.Fan: Climbing ah.Ma: What are your strengths?Fan: planning.Ma: That 4 trillion know? 4 behind so many zero, give us the planning of several zero?Fan: That is a country of large projects, it is estimated not work.Ma: Markov International this year's sales will exceed eight million, our goal is five years into the world 500 strong! I, as a business leader to enter Sri Lanka then what list, for several years then what you went into a list of Sri Lanka.Fan: Forbes?MA: With regard to that Sri Lanka. Listed companies have entered the countdown! What the United States that Spartak, this is our listing of 2000 days countdown celebration photos.Fan: NASDAQ?Ma: Yes, to enter the Nasdaq.Fan: You, and so, 2000 is the day I calculate how many years?Ma: say nothing of calculations, we have to let people know that the Earth International to be listed on the Mahalanobis, (come up with a broken gong) of view, opening to beat a gong have prepared better.(Brought gong to see) Fan: a bit familiar? Shuahou it?(Program for Choy) Ma: Give candidates the design, let him make a design is issued in accordance with the planning program and said that he was thinking of the wrong study. Is a mule is a horse, pull out of Liu Liu.Ma: test to your observation capability. If ah, if you have huge amount of wealth can not be explained clearly, how can you say?Fan: There are Han, real estate speculators in chanting.Ma: re-test to your ability to judge. You take the elevator up on the first floor to 10 floor elevators on each floor in front of all stood a diamond, diamond sizes. Every floor elevator door will open once, can only take one diamond, and asked how to get the biggest sinking?Fan: himself feel in great hurry to take on the bar, in case the lift out of malfunction? Case of power failure it?MA: Do you interview to answer questions ah must pause 2 seconds, make sure to understand what I mean.Cai: Your last question both Han mean?Ma: Meisha mean, I let him sleepwalk back.Ma: Are you so what questions to ask?Fan: What is the company's annual leave?Ma: annual leave? Chinese New Year holiday ah?当然.Choi: He said that the paid leave.Ma: Paid? Does not work? I have never received such a leave for employees. In our city, Saturday to go to work do not you know?Fan: What contract is signed it?MA: one year a sign, the probationary period for six months.Fan: The law provides that one-year contract, a probationary period can not exceed 2 months.Cai: The new labor law, three-year contract before the trial period of 6 months.Ma: That sign three years, signed a decade is no problem for six months probationary period.Cai: at least a decade after the sign is without a fixed term contract of the.Ma: ah? There are no fixed time limit? What sort of legal.Ma: Then three years, in the first year of nearly let him feel boring when you leave.Cai: If still find it interesting that he does?Ma: He also felt that if interesting, then I think you senseless.Horse: Your imagination Zeyang?Fan: last night made a strange dream: Kuaiguo Nian, I asked people to behead cattle, the results of killing finished, slaughtering of meat, let me take a few leave; I refused and took a lot of meat, but also sit there and eat several dishes of beef hot pot, finally left a number, give him.Ma: I may be the slaughtering of. Your salary requirements?Fan: 3000 or more.MA: We do this position, annual salary of thousands, certainly more than 4000 of the monthly discount. Well, today, the first so that you do not what matter, and go back and listen. Kuaiguo Nian, and easy to find work, spending is also unavoidable. Any money through recruitment of be careful ah. What Kaijulaijie you, let assistant to pick you up, let the interview with a laptop computer, cell phone money and goods should be carefully robbed cheated.Fan: Thank you for reminding me.再见.(Fan below) (Shen above)Shen: Chairman, this treatment and did you say Zebu the same?Ma: Zebu the same?Shen: At that time I asked you whether the salaries paid on time, you say of course. I asked you if attendance is very strict, you say This look at the situation, and sometimes can also be flexible.Ma: Are you sure remember correctly, you asked me whether attendance is very strict, and I said of course. You asked me whether the salaries paid on time, I would say that this look at the situation, and sometimes can also be flexible.Shen: I asked you if a car paste, rice paste is a meal allowance, travel allowance, you say, Why, yes, definitely are higher than their peers! I have heard that the company ask you to work overtime more you answer No possible, who told you? Ma: Are you sure they have mis-remembered. You asked whether the company I work overtime, I told you, Why, yes, definitely are higher than their peers! You asked me if there are meal subsidies, transportation subsidies, my answer is No, Who told you?(Sink in)(Phone rings)Cai: Uncle, the property that do not pay rent and utilities, then they wind up, moving chairs and tables. We supposed to?Ma: we supposed to? Pick up things, this place has to live tired of the table to give them better. The afternoon to move.Tsai: In case some people question?Ma: say condolences go to homes for the aged pensioners living alone, warmth, a little bedding, fruit Han's.Cai: property we supposed to do after finding 咱?Ma: rest assured. I signed the contract is the horse master! Is not a Ma Dashuai! That beat the tiger with the farmers to learn.Ma: brisk walking.老板桌旁大幅宣传画，画面背景是华南虎照，上写：马氏美白素 专业只为女人。
你有“野心”吗
您想当“主人”吗
您想当“老板”吗
马氏国际就是您走向人生顶峰的“平台”、“空间”、“江南”
国际著名美容科技集团诚聘策划、设计若干名，要求全日制本科以上学历。
下面是两块奖牌，“至尊美容大奖”。
蔡：马董，不好了，我们的马氏美白素被工商查处为不合格产品，正在网上公示呢。
马：什么玩意
莫急莫慌。
还有啊，什么马董马董，说了多少遍了，在人面前叫董事长，在办公室就叫大舅
不知道还以为马桶又漏水呢。
蔡：大舅，那咋办呢
马：换个名字，重新设计一下包装，马上过年了，搞个促销啥的。
（看广告宣传画）就改叫虎牌美白精华素
蔡：咋促销呢
马：你招的人呢
蔡：下午有面试的，在500强做过。
马：那给他几张白纸，让他写个策划方案，3000字以上。
（范上）范：如今工作太难找，前段时间在网上发简历180多份，只接到8个面试电话，其中三个还是不请自来，都号称是国际金融集团，发信用卡，卖保险，非法炒外汇的。
最近呢，干脆一个没有，我都以为手机坏了，每天打几下自己的号。
经济危机来了，骗子和贼的队伍也扩大了。
还得提防那些借着招聘骗钱的，凡是收钱的一概不去。
包看好，钱抓牢，手机不要随便给人拿了跑
（手机短信铃声）感谢您应聘马氏企业国际集团广告策划职位，请今日下午2点到国际大厦18楼面试。
范：这短信发得蛮及时哦，昨天来过电话的。
蔡：你好，马氏国际。
范：你好，我是来面试的。
蔡：是这样，我们有份考题，您先做一下。
答完后，这里有媒体采访我们董事长的文章，您要仔细看完。
然后我们董事长会亲自面试。
（看完厚厚剪报）蔡：看完了吗
您这边请。
马：你的方案我看了，确实没想到。
范：没想到
没想到是好还是差啊
马：我的意思都让你明白了，我还是老板吗
马：我先介绍下公司情况。
马氏集团总部在美国洛杉矶，98年进入中国，02年成立马氏未来实验室公司，致力于生命科学、基因工程和健康美容研究。
我们的战略是用3-5年在美国、日本建立5个分公司，用3-5年在中国建立15个分公司，88家核心加盟商，为全球用户提供专业服务。
在这样的快速发展过程中，人才是我们最大的渴望，我始终认为，最有价值的一分钟是投资于员工的一分钟。
巴菲特说，人生就像滚雪球，重要的是找到很长的坡。
相信马氏国际就是你们年轻人成功路上最长的坡。
范：爬坡啊。
马：你有什么强项
范：策划。
马：那4万亿知道吗
4后面那么多的零，能给我们策划几个零
范：那都是国家大项目，估计不行。
马：马氏国际今年的销售将突破8个亿，我们的目标是5年内进入世界五百强
我作为企业领头人，进入那什么斯排行榜，好多年没进那什么斯排行榜了。
范：福布斯
马：就那斯。
公司已经进入上市倒计时
到美国那什么斯巴达克，这是我们上市倒计时2000天庆祝会的照片。
范：纳斯达克
马：对，进军纳斯达克。
范：您等等，2000天我算算是多少年
马：甭算了，我们要让地球人都知道马氏国际要上市了，（拿出一个破锣）看，开市敲的锣都备好了。
（拿来锣看）范：有点面熟
耍猴的
（方案给蔡）马：给应聘设计的，让他按照策划方案做出设计稿，就说考察他的思路对不对。
是骡子是马，拉出来遛遛。
马：考考你的观察能力。
假如啊，假如，你有巨额财产无法解释清楚时，你怎么说
范：还有啥，炒房的呗。
马：再考考你判断能力。
你乘坐电梯上来，一楼到十楼的每层电梯门口都放着一颗钻石，钻石大小不一。
每层楼电梯门都会打开一次，只能拿一次钻石，问怎样才能拿到最大的那颗
范：自己觉着大就赶紧拿吧，万一电梯出故障呢
万一停电呢
马：你面试回答问题啊一定要停顿2秒，确信明白了我的意思。
蔡：你最后俩问题啥意思
马：没啥意思，我是让他稀里糊涂地回去。
马：你有啥问题要问
范：公司年假是怎样的
马：年假
过年放假啊
当然。
蔡：他说的是带薪年假。
马：带薪
不上班
我还从没接到员工这样的休假申请。
在我们全市，周六上班难道你不知道吗
范：合同是怎样签的呢
马：一年一签，试用期半年。
范：法律规定，一年合同的话，试用期不能超过2个月。
蔡：新劳动法，三年合同的试用期才能为6个月。
马：那签三年，签十年都没问题，试用期半年。
蔡：签十年满之后就是无固定期限合同了。
马：啊
还有无固定期限
这是哪门子法律。
马：那就三年，在第一年快满时让他自己觉得没意思走人。
蔡：他要是还觉得有意思呢
马：他要是还觉得有意思，那我就觉得你没意思了。
马：你的想象力咋样
范：昨晚做了一个奇怪的梦：快过年了，我请人杀头牛，结果杀完后，宰牛的让我拿几块肉走人；我不肯，拿了很多的肉，还坐在那吃了几盘牛肉火锅，最后还剩一些，就给他了。
马：我可能就是宰牛的。
你的工资要求
范：三千以上。
马：我们这个职位呢，年薪十万，折算月薪肯定超过四千了。
那今天就先这样，没你啥事了，回去听信。
快过年了，工作不好找，花销还少不了。
凡是借着招聘收钱的要当心啊。
什么开车来接你的，让助手来接你的，让带手提电脑面试的，都要小心手机钱物被抢被骗。
范：谢谢您的提醒。
再见。
（范下）（沈上）沈：董事长，这个待遇和当初您说的咋不一样呢
马：咋不一样
沈：当时我问您工资是否按时发放，您说“那当然”。
我问您是否考勤很严格，您说“这个看情况，有时也可以灵活”。
马：你肯定记错了，你问我考勤是否很严格，我说那当然。
你问我工资是否按时发放，我说这个看情况，有时也可以灵活。
沈：我问您是否有车贴、饭贴就是餐费补贴、交通补贴，您回答说“那还用说，绝对比同行都高
”我问您听说公司加班多，您回答说“不可能，谁告诉你的
”马：你肯定又记错了。
你问我公司是否加班，我告诉你“那还用说，绝对比同行都高
”你问我是否有餐费补贴、交通补贴，我的回答是“不可能，谁告诉你的
”（沈下）（电话响）蔡：大舅，物业说再不交房租和水电费的话，他们就拉闸、搬桌子。
咋办
马：咋办
收拾东西，这地方也住腻了，桌子给他们好了。
下午就搬。
蔡：万一有人问呢
马：就说去敬老院慰问孤寡老人，送温暖，带点被褥、水果啥的。
蔡：物业以后找到咱咋办呢
马：放心。
我在合同上签的是马大师
不是马大帅
跟那个拍老虎的农民学的。
马：快走。
英语搞笑小品剧本
12分钟好象有点长，我这里有我参加“星星火炬英语风采大赛”的剧本。
参考一下额 Time ancient times. Character Mister Dongguo, wolf, hunter, old apricot tree, Lao Niu, old farmer. In wilderness the mist and dust is billowing, shouts the acoustic shock day. In shouted that, fight wolves!pursues (a wolf belt arrow wound to go on stage) wolf: I originally am come from the north wolf, but in today the arrow was injured (wolf lamely to run) [ Mister Dongguo to carry on the book pouch, on the one hand walks on the other hand self-effacingly recites poetry.) Guo: From a pot of wine among the flowers I drank alone. There was no one with me -- Till, raising my cup, I asked the bright moon To bring me my shadow and make us three. (Between the flower a pot liquor, drinks alone without the intimate. Raises glass invites the bright moonlight, becomes three people to the shade) (suddenly to discover on road crowd of ants, heart of the mercy, has lifted a foot does not endure to lay down) Guo: (Reads) walks not injuries the cricket 蚁命 manner to have to have the mercy heart (cautiously to bypass ant, after continues to lead the way) (field shout big quake) Guo: What happened next? The United States military has joined battle with Iraq? (Wolf runs has come up) the wolf: The adult saves a life, behind had a hunter to have to peel my skin, rescued me! Guo: Good good, is the person to want to be sincere (was saying behind, dismounts the package, all but actually came out the inside book) Guo: You first hide in this package (wolf lamely sneak in package) (Mister Dongguo to carry book pouch, continues to walk) (on hunter) the hunter asks Guo: Ask scholar's, has seen the wolf which was injured to pass a moment ago? Guo: Not. Hunter: Thanks gentleman. After (under hunter) (waits hunter to walk far, Mister Dongguo put wolf from book pouch has gotten down) Guo: The hunter walked, you in a big hurry escape the wolf: Is not I does not want to walk, I really am tired hungry Guo: What then you do want to eat? Wolf: I must eat your meat! ! (Reveals fierce and antagonistic expression) Guo: Why then you do want to eat me? I have graciousness and you Wolf: Because you me stuffily in book pouch too long Guo: Really is the good intention not good newspaper. Is not good, I must go ask the person to figure out! (Said, brings wolf to go) (to walk to an old tree under) Guo: Sets up eldest sister, I rescued the wolf, the wolf have actually had to eat me. You to me comment this principle! Tree: Should eat! (Wolf self-satisfied has smiled) the tree: Your humanity endlessly cutted the piece of trees, continually our these old trees do not let off, burns us with the fire. Why can't the wolf eat you? Ate you to be able few individual to damage the nature (under old tree, wolf slowly approached Mister Dongguo) (by now on cow) Guo: Holds on a minute, lets me ask Niu eldest brother Guo: Eldest brother Niu, my good intention has rescued this wolf, now it actually must eat me. Should you said? Cow: This! Our Lao Niu gives birth to must do this for your humanity to do that, drinks or our milk. But we only eat the worst fodder every day, rest the worst cowshed, you also had to dig up our cowhide to make money. The old wolf should eat you. Wolf: (Sneers). Looked you also have any flattery (under cow) (on farmer) Guo: And so on one and so on, the distant place has come an old farmer. Asks him to figure out, if he said you should eat me, I have complied with. Wolf: Good, I give you last the opportunity. Guo: The old uncle, I has rescued this wolf, it actually ungratefully must eat me. You said this makes sense? The farmer asks the wolf: Why did you want to eat your savior? Wolf: He too has been stuffily long me in the book pouch, almost suffocates me (farmer to take up book pouch, about about looks at) the farmer: Was this book pouch such small, how many installs the book all not to be able to install, how installed under you? Or you demonstrate to me have a look? Wolf: The demonstration (said on the demonstration, earth-boring auger has leisurely gone in) the farmer to settle on the time, grips tightly the book pouch mouth, ties up with the string. The wolf on is stranded in the inside farmer: Silly scholar, the wild animal eventually is a wild animal, could not change natural disposition. Is the person surely not to be able to be excessively benevolent! Guo: (Nod name is) indeed indeed, declines office due to old age the uncle to teach the farmer: Then the present, we solved it (say. Two people treat the book pouch to pummel, the farmer also uses the hoe to pound the wolf. The wolf sends out the sorrowful bugle call in inside, one could not not then have the sound of something astir) (farmer and Mister Dongguo shook hand, separates from each other) The curtain falls, all actor goes on stage. 时间 古代。
人物 东郭先生、狼 、猎人、老杏树，老牛、老农。
” 荒野中烟尘滚滚，喊声震天。
内喊：“打狼啊，追啊 （一狼带箭伤上场，） 狼：我本是一只来自北方的狼，无奈今天中箭受了伤 （狼一瘸一拐跑下） 〔东郭先生背着书囊上，边走边摇头晃脑地念诗。
） 郭： From a pot of wine among the flowers I drank alone. There was no one with me -- Till, raising my cup, I asked the bright moon To bring me my shadow and make us three. （花间一壶酒，独酌无相亲。
举杯邀明月，对影成三人） （忽然发现路上一群蚂蚁，顿起慈悲之心，已举起的一只脚不忍放下） 郭： （念）走路莫伤蝼蚁命 为人要有慈悲心 （小心翼翼地绕过蚂蚁，继续前行） （后场喊声大震，） 郭：又发生了什么事
美军又与伊拉克交战了吗
（狼跑过上来） 狼：大人救命，后面有个猎人要剥了我的皮，救救我吧
郭：好吧好吧，做人要厚道 （说着，卸下背后的包，把里面的书都倒了出来） 郭：你先躲在这个包里吧 （狼一瘸一拐地钻进包里） （东郭先生背着书囊，继续走） （猎人上，） 猎人问郭： 请问秀才，刚才看见一只受伤的狼过去了吗
郭：没有啊。
猎人：谢谢先生。
（猎人下） （待猎人走远后，东郭先生把狼从书囊里放了下来） 郭：猎人已走，你快快逃命去吧 狼：不是我不想走，我实在是又累又饿 郭：那你要吃什么
狼：我要吃你的肉
（露出凶狠表情） 郭：那你为何要吃我
我有恩与你 狼：因为你把我闷在书囊里太久了 郭：真是好心没好报。
不行，我要去找人评理
（说完，带着狼向前去） （走到一棵老树下）郭：树大姐，我救了狼，狼却要吃我。
你给我评评这个理
树：该吃
（狼得意的笑了） 树：你们人类无休止地乱砍乱伐，连我们这些老树也不放过，用火来烧我们。
狼为什么不能吃你呢
吃了你就能少个人来祸害大自然了 （老树下，狼慢慢逼近东郭先生） （这时牛上了） 郭： 且慢，让我去问问牛大哥 郭：牛大哥，我好心救了这只狼，现在它却要吃我。
你说该不该
牛：该
我们老牛生下来就要为你们人类干这干那，喝的还是我们的奶。
可我们每天只吃最差的草料、睡最差的牛棚，你们还要扒了我们的牛皮去赚钱。
老狼该吃你。
狼：（冷笑）。
看你还有什么好说的 （牛下）（农夫上） 郭：等一等，远处来了一位老农夫。
找他评理，要是他说你该吃了我，我就遵从。
狼：好，我就给你最后一次机会。
郭：老伯，我救了这只狼，它却忘恩负义地要吃我。
你说这有道理吗
农夫问狼：你为何要吃了你的救命恩人
狼：他把我闷在书囊里太久了，差点闷死我 （农夫拿起书囊，上下左右看了看） 农夫：这书囊这么小，装书都装不了多少，怎么装的下你
要不你示范给我看看
狼：示范就示范 （说完，慢慢悠悠地钻了进去） 农夫看准时间，把书囊口扎紧，用绳子绑好。
狼就被困在里面了 农夫：傻秀才啊，野兽终究是野兽，改不了本性的。
做人千万不能过分仁慈
郭：（点头称是）的确的确，多谢老伯教诲 农夫：那么现在，我们就把它“解决了吧” （说罢。
两人对着书囊拳打脚踢，农夫还用锄头砸狼。
狼在里面发出哀号声，不一会便没了动静） （农夫与东郭先生握了握手，分道扬镳） 幕落，全体演员上场。
剧本是我自己写的，希望给你帮上忙啊
