谐音笑话
1.出门散步不小心撞到了， 泥鳅很生你是不是瞎啊
蟹很委屈：不是啊，我是螃蟹
2.今天上驾校理论课，老师说：造成严重交通事故，并且逃逸的，终身禁驾(禁嫁)。
后边一妹子举手说到：那我一辈子都嫁不出去了啊
3.女朋友名字叫朱静，第一次带女朋友回农村老家，进门就说：妈，朱静来了。
妈听到后说：猪进来了把它赶出去就是了
4.爷爷在病危之际，将年少无知的孙子叫到床前，用尽最后一口气嘱咐道：孩子啊，这个世道……做官才好啊
小孙子是个听话的孩子，他将爷爷临终前的话牢牢记在心里。
许多年以后，他终于成了村里最好的棺材匠。
5.一女人来到男人家玩，女人调戏男人说：你要是有块地我就和你结婚。
这时，门铃响了，快递小哥说：先生，有你快递
6.语文课，老师在讲课文分析时小明不认真听课，突然老师提问：小明你来回答一下，文章1到2段说明了什么
小明一愣，说：文章一刀两断说明他和马伊琍分手了
7.妞妞和大壮在楼下玩，妞妞提议到：我们来玩扮明星吧
好啊好啊
你把我当邓紫棋吧
行
大壮一脸兴奋，一把就把妞妞推倒在地上，骑了上去。
妞妞吓了一跳，嗷的一嗓子就嚎了出来：王大壮我草你爹啊，谁他妈让你把我当凳子骑了啊
8.那天我驾驶的公车到了车站，乘客鱼贯下车.快要关车门的那一刻，一位女士在车门外大叫;我要死在你车上!'' 我紧张得立刻把车门关上，赶快踩踏油门，心想;都市里的怪人怪事真不少.'' 没想到，那女士居然叫了一辆计程车紧追我的公车，终于截停下来. 车门开了，女士又大叫;为什么不停车?我要死在你车上!'' 我害怕的问她;小姐，你有什么是想不开呢?'' 他怒气冲冲的走向一个座位，然后拿起一串钥匙对我说;我要死[钥匙]在你车上!''
求关于对越自卫反击战的英文演讲稿
在加拿大爱德蒙顿市四五抗议集会上的演讲稿, just for your reference：下午2点，主持人宣布集会活动正式开始。
她说：Fellow Citizens, Brothers and Sisters, Ladies and Gentlemen,Today we gather here to tell a truth, to assert a conviction, and to deliver a message - in the name of peace, and in the spirit of modern, international Olympics. The primary reason that brought us here is what happened some three weeks ago in a western province of China. On March 14, in Lhasa, the capital city of Tibet Autonomous Region, violent riots suddenly hit the streets. Shops were stormed and smashed, people were stoned, beaten, and stabbed. Fires were set to residential and public buildings alike. Flames and smokes rose high. Many innocent people were injured or killed. Emphatically I need to point out that these were facts - recorded by cameras, video cameras and witnessed by many, including western tourists and journalists. As Canadians who have roots in China, our hearts are burning and aching for the loss of innocent lives of our brothers and sisters in such a violent manner. We strongly condemn these violent, terrorist activities, and hope that peace and order will return. There is another compelling reason for us to gather here. During the past three weeks, there a prevailing distortion of the incidents - by the media in the western countries. The rioters were portrayed as “peaceful demonstrators” and the Chinese government was accused of having used brutal forces to “crackdown” on the “innocent”. There is calling for Tibet separation, and there is an uproar calling for a boycott of the upcoming Beijing Olympics.We cannot allow truth and facts to be twisted and distorted. As people who grew up in China and have been living in Canada, we have the knowledge, background, and a strong sense of justice to tell truth from lies.These are our convictions:: What happened in Lhasa on March 14 and thereafter were riots, but not peaceful demonstrations; A riot, whether it happens on a Lhasa street or on Edmonton’s Whyte Avenue, should be stopped; China is a multi-ethnic society, just like Canada; Tibet has been part of China, just like Quebec has been a part of Canada; Tibetans, like the other 55 ethnic Chinese groups, are part of the big Chinese family;We are acutely aware that the riots, after Tibet saw a peaceful period of nearly 20 years, were happening just a few months before the Beijing Olympics. We hope these riots had not been orchestrated to disrupt and discredit the upcoming 2008 Beijing Olympic Games. And here are our messages: Politics, especially bad politics, should not get into the way of sports;: The sweat of Olympic athletes should be sweated only to fulfill their dreams; As China is progressing to become more democratic, a successful Beijing Olympics will only further enhance this process. Consisting of one fifth of world’s population, a peaceful and better China means a peaceful, better world.Thank you very much!这位老先生叫George Ng，他说：Two weeks ago Ambassador Lu made a statement to defend China’s position on the Tibet issue. People here were very upset: some wanted to send him home; some wanted to teach him a lesson on Chinese history. The Edmonton Journal had a great big headline: “Chinese Ambassador needs a lesson on his country’s history” (March 25). As a matter of fact, Chinese as a people consists of 5 major groups: Han, the majority, Man, the Manchus, Meng, the Mongolians, Hui, the Muslims, and Zang, the Tibetans, and hundreds of smaller minorities, each with a unique culture and a different language. But to dismiss anyone of them, say for example: the Mongolians, as non-Chinese is ludicrous. Ambassador Lu’s assertion that Tibet was part of China since the 13th Century was not without base. During both the Yuan dynasty (1280-1368) and the Ming dynasty (1368-1644), Tibet accepted a tributary relationship with China. As a rule this meant Tibet recognized the Chinese emperor as the supreme leader, and enjoyed diplomatic and trade privileges. In 1720 Tibet was made a protectorate by the Qing dynasty (1644-1911), and a permanent Chinese garrison was established there. From 1751 onwards Chinese control over Tibet became permanent and remained so ever since. At the beginning of the twentieth century, the British government tried to seize possession of Tibet, but was warded off by the Chinese garrison. The short-lived Republic of China was unable to control Tibet, but the People Republic of China based on past history entered Tibet in October 1950. At first the Chinese Government wanted to establish the Tibet Autonomous Region and proposed that the Dalai Lama to chair the Preparation Committee. However, there were lots of outside influences; finally in 1959 some Tibetans, supplied with weapons through India by the CIA, staged a riot in southern Tibet. This uprising was quelled in two weeks, and the Dalai Lama fled to India. It was a bloody mess, and was etched on our minds when we saw it repeatedly on TV. However, there was another side of the story, According to John McCook Roots’ book, An Informal Biography of China’s Legendary Chou Enlai, prior to the1950s “hundreds of thousands of peasants and herdsmen had been born into serfdom as oppressive as anything out of the Middle Ages. The feudal state of affairs ceased with the advent of Chinese Communist rule. The often-barbaric punishments of the past were outlawed. Secular schools and hospitals were introduced by Beijing. The land, most of which had been held by the monasteries, was divided among the serfs.” All these policies worked against the interests of the Buddhist theocracy and landlords. To them the revolution was a tragedy, but to the masses it was certainly a genuine liberation. Because of the Beijing Olympics, the Chinese government has been very sensitive to the Tibet issue; the last thing it wants is to draw the world’s attention to the Tibet problems. So far, I think, the Chinese government has been exercising restraint, and tries to contain the riots with only measured responses. If you have a chance to watch China Vision here in Canada, you will be able to see another version of the same riot. The rioters were by no means that peaceful, and the police were not that barbaric. Recently the U.S. State Department repeatedly said that the Dalai Lama has not been involved in Tibet’s unrest, and he is only interested in having a dialogue with the Chinese government. It sounds reasonably enough, but wait till you hear what he wants.. When Robert Thurman, a long-time supporter of the Tibetan’s government in exile, and a professor at Columbia University, asked the Dalai Lama about self-rule, his version of independence. The Dalai Lama said: “Self-rule means that China must stop its intensive effort to colonize Tibet with Chinese settlers and must allow Tibetans to hold responsible positions in the government of Tibet. Because my main concern is the Tibetan Buddhist culture, not just political independence, I cannot seek self-rule for central Tibet and exclude the 4 million Tibetans in our two eastern provinces Amdo (known to the Chinese as Qinghai) and Kham (known to the Chinese as Gansu, Sichuan and Yunnan).” What it means is that nearly one-quarter of China will be controlled by the Dalai Lama. In addition, any non-Tibetans will have to be relocated from Amdo and Kham. For Tibetans living in these areas, they are by definition immigrants. To tell all the non-Tibetan people who are indigenous to these regions to leave to make room for the immigrants is inconceivable. With the aforementioned conditions as prerequisites, the Dalai Lama’s proposal is definitely a non-starter. It is easy to condemn China for everything, but did you know prior to the Chinese involvement, the infant mortality rate in Tibet was 300 in every 1000; the illiteracy rate was 70%. $ t S0 |\\\/ F6 B# T' Z All these are based on facts from reliable sources. For example, the CIA’s involvement in the 1959 Tibet uprising had been well documented; it can be found on page 105 in Margaret Macmillan’s book: Nixon in China. I hope this article can help clarify some of the misunderstandings, and help you look at things from a different perspective.
赞美烈士的词语
以身殉国碧血丹心为国捐躯死而后已舍身为国鞠躬尽瘁铁骨铮铮满腔热血一心为国为国为民
杨爱国情'树报国志。
演讲稿
这是许晴百度百科的地址，上面都有。
希望有用。
