英语幽默的演讲稿
A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday? I gave it to a poor old woman, he answered. You're a good boy, said the mother proudly. Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman? She is the one who sells the candy. 子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天的钱干什
” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回。
“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。
“再给你两分钱。
可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢
” “她是个卖糖果的。
”
幽默又有意义的200词英文演讲稿带翻译
A schoolteacher used to take a short nap every afternoon. 有一位老师每个下午都要打一下盹儿。
When his pupils asked him why he did so, he said that he went to dreamland to meet ancient sages. 当他的学生问他是怎么回事时，他回答说他到梦境中去见古代的圣人了。
One extremely hot day some of his pupils fell asleep in the classroom. When the school-teacher chided them, they said, We went to meet the sages in dreamland. 有一天，天气很热，有几个学生在教室里睡着了。
当这位老师斥责他们的时候，他们说：“我们去梦里见圣人了。
”What did they say? demanded the teacher. “他们说什么了
”老师问到。
We asked them if a school- teacher came there every afternoon, but they said they had seen no such person.“我们问他们是不是每天下午都有一个老师去他们那儿，但是他们说没见过这个人。
”
三分钟幽默英语演讲
A Boy and His Tree A long time ago, there was a huge apple tree. A little boy loved to come and play around it every day. He climbed to the tree top, ate the apples, took a nap under the shadow… He loved the tree and the tree loved to play with him. Time went by…The little boy had grown up and he no longer played around the tree. One day, the boy came back to the tree and looked sad. “Come and play with me,” the tree asked the boy. “I am no longer a kid, I don’t play around trees anymore.” The boy replied, “I want toys. I need money to buy them.” “Sorry, but I don’t have money…but you can pick all my apples and sell them. So, you will have money.” The boy was so excited. He picked all the apples on the tree and left happily. The boy didn’t come back after he picked the apples. The tree was sad. One day, the boy returned and the tree was so excited. “Come and play with me.” The tree said. “I don’t have time to play. I have to work for my family. We need a house for shelter. Can you help me?” “Sorry, but I don’t have a house. But you can cut off my branches to build your house.” So the boy cut all the branches of the tree and left happily. The tree was glad to see him happy but the boy didn’t appear since then. The tree was again lonely and sad. One hot summer day, the boy returned and the tree was delighted. “Come and play with me!” the tree said. “I am sad and getting old. I want to go sailing to relax myself. Can you give me a boat?” “Use my trunk to build the boat. You can sail and be happy.” So the boy cut the tree trunk to make a boat. He went sailing and did not show up for a long time. Finally, the boy returned after he left for so many years. “Sorry, my boy. But I don’t have anything for you anymore. No more apples for you.” the tree said. “ I don’t have teeth to bite.” The boy replied. “ No more trunk for you to climb on.” “I am too old for that now.” the boy said. “I really want to give you something…the only thing left is my dying roots.” The tree said with tears. “I don’t need much now, just a place to rest. I am tired after all these years.” The boy replied. “Good! Old tree roots are the best place to lean on and rest. Come here, please sit down with me and have a rest.” The boy sat down and the tree was glad and smiled with tears… This is a story of everyone. The tree is our parent. When we were young, we loved to play with Mom and Dad… When we grow up, we leave them, and only come to them when we need something or when we are in trouble. No matter what, parents will always be there and give everything they could to make you happy. You may think that the boy is cruel to the tree but that's how all of us are treating our parents. 很久以前有一棵苹果树。
一个小男孩每天都喜欢来到树旁玩耍。
他爬到树顶，吃苹果，在树荫里打盹……他爱这棵树，树也爱和他一起玩。
随着时间的流逝，小男孩长大了。
他不再到树旁玩耍了。
一天，男孩回到树旁，看起来很悲伤。
“来和我玩吧
”树说。
“我不再是小孩了，我不会再到树下玩耍了。
”男孩答到，“我想要玩具，我需要钱来买。
” “很遗憾，我没有钱……但是你可以采摘我的所有苹果拿去卖。
这样你就有钱了。
”男孩很兴奋。
他摘掉树上所有的苹果，然后高兴地离开了。
自从那以后男孩没有回来。
树很伤心。
一天，男孩回来了，树非常兴奋。
“来和我玩吧。
”树说。
“我没有时间玩。
我得为我的家庭工作。
我们需要一个房子来遮风挡雨，你能帮我吗
”很遗憾，我没有房子。
但是，你可以砍下我的树枝来建房。
“因此，男孩砍下所有的树枝，高高兴兴地离开了。
看到他高兴，树也很高兴。
但是，自从那时起男孩没再出现，树有孤独，伤心起来。
突然，在一个夏日，男孩回到树旁，树很高兴。
“来和我玩吧
”树说。
“我很伤心，我开始老了。
我想去航海放松自己。
你能不能给我一条船
” “用我的树干去造一条船，你就能航海了，你会高兴的。
”于是，男孩砍倒树干去造船。
他航海去了，很长一段时间未露面。
许多年后男孩终于回来了。
“很遗憾，我的孩子，我再也没有任何东西可以给你了。
没有苹果给你……”树说。
“我没有牙齿啃。
” 男孩答到。
“没有树干供你爬。
”“现在我老了，爬不上去了。
” 男孩说。
“我真的想把一切都给你……我唯一剩下的东西是快要死去的树墩。
” 树含着眼泪说。
“现在，我不需要什么东西，只需要一个地方来休息。
经过了这些年我太累了。
”男孩答到。
“太好了
老树墩就是倚着休息的最好地方。
过来，和我一起坐下休息吧。
” 男孩坐下了，树很高兴，含泪而笑…… 这是一个发生在每一个人身上的故事。
那棵树就像我们的父母。
我们小的时候，喜欢和爸爸妈妈玩……长大后，便离开他们，只有在我们需要父母亲，或是遇到了困难的时候，才会回去找他们。
尽管如此，父母却总是有求必应，为了我们的幸福，无私地奉献自己的一切。
你也许觉得那个男孩很残忍，但我们何尝不是这样呢
英语演讲稿3分钟（以中学生的视角写一篇带幽默有翻译的演讲稿，以爱好和学习方法为话题 ）
Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills. Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning. That's fine, roared the boss, but where were you Monday and Tuesday? 安眠药 鲍勃晚上失眠。
他去看医生，医生给他开了一些强力安眠药。
星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药，睡得很好，在闹钟响之前就醒了过来。
他到了办公室，遛达进去，对老板说：“我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有。
” “好啊!”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了
”
一篇三分钟的英语演讲稿，介绍新奇的事物或事情，用简单幽默的语言，急求
满意的必定采纳
“天助自助者”heaven helps the one who help himselfToday,I am going to put our focus on the statement Heaven helps the one who help himself. I don't know what you would think of this statement once you hear that.But just let me share with you my point of view.In my opinion,chances will only be given to those who treasure every opportunity around them.In order to help yourself,you have to treasure yourself,you have to have faith in yourself in the first place.You have to say I can do it to yourself.Once you believe that you can overcome the difficulties,you will get driven and easily realize the help or chances sent by God to you.Ultimately,you will get the job done and become successful.However,if you don't even help yourself,you have low self-esteem,you lack confidence,you lose faith of yourself,you don't believe that you could make it,for sure,God is not going to help you as you don't even treasure yourself.You don't even realize your own value.Even if there're chances,you will never know how to take it wisely.Maybe you would say,not everyone in the world know how to help oneself.But I don’t agree with this claim.It has nothing to do with your intelligence,it is simply a decision.If you decide to help yourself,you would.If you want to help yourself to increase your confidence,you could join the leadership training courses,you could try to find out your strengths and merits (I believe everyone have them) instead of merely sitting there and do nothing,meaning not helping yourself.Those who have self-confidence would probably get the job done more easily than those who lack it.This is God’s plan.Therefore,it is all about what attitude you have.When you don't help yourself,all the help given by God would just be wastage.Once you help yourself,God will do the rest for you.In a nutshell,those who help themselves will see the help from God,those who don’t,won’t see it.Thank you.
英语三分钟演讲稿，大约150的字数。
关于幽默、励志。
最好带翻译。
急
People and animals get alongIn colorful in nature, life with two perfect biological, one kind is human, another kind is the animals. Although they are creatures, but they never could get together and for humans to kill animals. But wild animals in zoos but it can and human be together.Say first peacock garden! Walked into a peacock garden, the garden in joyful play the peacock. Some are ramping and children; Some are issued by food; eat children And in the shade of a... I can't wait to buy a pack feed, also to feed the peacock. I thought the peacock certain will frighten is everywhere disorderly jump. But, it moves have made me by surprise: it's still standing there, sometimes put neck to eat the food on my hand. It shows what, shows where the animals can and human get along. Suddenly, I feed the peacock tail! It in the crowd, raise head, walked slowly as if in said: see, I am much more beautiful! Many people are surrounded by come, can peacocks renkai, let humans look at the screen. It shows where the animals can and human harmony!Soon, I arrived at again and tiger photos area. Where the tiger dorigo have to stare at me, that my whole body straight risked bean big sweat. I walk to the tiger cowardly, put his hand on the side of the body, the tiger tiger was lying motionless, put his hand on my shoulder, like a pair of good elder brothers... It shows where the animals can and human harmony!After the activity, let me know the human must and animal harmony!
励志又幽默的英语演讲稿5分钟,带录音
Class, Lass and AssProfessor Tom was going to meet his students on the next day, so he wrote some words on the blackboard which read as follows: Professor Tom will meet the class tomorrow.A student, seeing his chance to display his sense of humor after reading the notice, walked up and erased the c in the word class. The Professor noticing the laughter, wheeled around, walked back, looked at the student, then at the notice with the c erased--calmly walked up and erased the l in lass, looked at the flabbergasted student and proceeded on his way.班级、情人和蠢驴汤姆教授打算第二天与他的学生见面，因此他在黑板上写道：“汤姆教授明天将和大家见面”。
一位学生看到这条通知后，觉得展示自己幽默感的机会来了，就走上前，将“class”中的“c”擦掉，将意思变为“汤姆教授明天将和情妇见面”。
教授听到笑声，转过身走回来，看了看那位学生，又看看被改动过的通知，不动声色地走上前，把“lass”中的“l”擦掉，将意思改为“汤姆教授明天将和蠢驴见面”。
看了看那位目瞪口呆的学生，教授扬长而去。
Be Much WorsePoliceman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.可能更糟警察：当你的手表被抢的时候，你为什么不大声喊叫呢
男士：如果我张嘴喊叫，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。
那样情况就更糟了
Wait a MinuteTom: My grand God, what does a millennium mean to you?God: It only means a minute.Tom: My omnipotent god, what do 10,000 golden coins mean to you?God: Just a small coin.Tom: My humane god, please give me a small coin.God: Ok, poor man, please wait a minute.等一分钟汤姆：我伟大的上帝，一千年对你来说，意味着什么
上帝：它只意味着一分钟。
汤姆：我万能的上帝，一万枚金币对你来说，意味着什么
上帝：它只意味着一枚小硬币。
汤姆：我仁慈的上帝，那就请给我一枚小硬币吧
上帝：好吧，可怜的人，请等一分钟吧。
THE FIRST TIMEPatient: I'm so frightened, this is my first operation.Surgeon: I know just how you feel. This is my first operation, too.第一次病人：我很害怕，这是我第一次动手术。
外科医生：我完全理解你的心情。
这也是我第一次动手术。
GOOD SIGHTLawyer: You say you were about thirty-five feet away from the scene of the accident? Just how far can you see clearly?Witness: Well, when I wake up in the morning I see the sun, and they tell me it's about ninety-three million miles away.好视力律师：你说你离事故现场约有35英尺，你能看清多远的东西
证人：这么说吧，早上起床后我看见太阳，别人告诉我这大约有9300万英里远。
EXPENSIVE ADVICEThe doctor finally reached his table at a dinner, after breaking away from a woman who sought advice on a health problem.Do you think I should send her a bill? the doctor asked a lawyer who sat next to him.Why not? the lawyer replied. You rendered professional services by giving advice.Thanks, the physician said. I think I'll do that.When the doctor went to his office the next day to send the bill to the woman, he found a letter from the lawyer. It read:For legal services, $50.昂贵的建议大夫在打发走了一个就健康问题向他咨询的妇女之后，最后来到餐桌上。
“你认为我应该向她收费吗
”大夫问坐在身边的一个律师。
“有什么不应该
”律师答道，“你通过提建议提供了职业性服务。
”“谢谢，”大夫说道，“看来我得这么做。
”第二天当大夫去办公室给那位妇女写账单时，他收到律师的一封信。
信中写道：“请付法律服务费５０美元。
”HIS FAULTBilly: Mother, Bobby broke a window.Mother: How did he do it?Billy: I threw a rock at him and he ducked.他的错比利：妈妈，波比打坏了窗玻璃。
妈妈：他怎么打的
比利：我向他扔石头，他躲开了。
TELEMARKETERI answered the phone one evening and quickly realized the voice on the other end belonged to a telemarketer.Good evening, he said, may I speak with Leah Jonason?She is a baby, I replied.All right, said the caller, I'll try again later.电话推销员一天晚上我接了一个电话，对方的声音使我很快意识到他是个电话推销员。
“晚上好，”他说，“我想和利厄乔纳森说话。
”“她是个婴儿，”我回答说。
“没关系，”他说，“我以后再打。
”
