初中英语演讲稿，带翻译，50字就行了，关于笑话的，小故事的就行。
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America. 它们是从美国直接带来的 一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。
在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。
这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。
” One Engine Left A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, Attention, passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a r esult. Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, Guess what, folks. We just lost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late. At this point, one passenger became furious. For Pete's sake, he shouted, If we lose another engine, we'll be up here all night! 只剩一个引擎 一架747客机正在跨越大西洋时，喇叭里传来了机长的声音：“旅客们请注意，我们的四个引擎中有一个丢失了。
但剩下的三个引擎会把我们带到伦敦的。
只是我们要因此晚到一小时 。
” 过了一会儿，旅客们又听到机长的声音：“各位，你们猜怎么啦
我们刚又掉了第三个引擎。
但请你们相信好了。
只有一个引擎我们也能飞，但要晚三个小时了。
” 正在这时，一位乘客非常气愤地说：“看在上帝的份上，如果我们再掉一个引擎，我们就要整夜都要呆在天上了。
”
跪求 英语课前三分钟的演讲稿 或者一些小故事、笑话也行 初一水平 （带翻译）
Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea? A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys. 猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢
你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。
但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。
这个答案很
Q: How can you most irritate a farmer? A: By treading on his corn? 如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。
Corn既可以表示“玉米\\\/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。
Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world? A: The snail. It carries its house on its back. 因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。
你说呢
求搞笑的英语演讲稿3分钟左右
Tom and John are exchanging ideas.They are very good friends,yet they have never met.So how do they become friends? By computer! Now the Internet is being used by busnesses,governments and students.In fact,the Internet anyone can use it if his or her computer is connected to it. They can use the Internet to send the emails.Tom and John become friends because they both like the same music.They sent letters to the news group on the Internet where the can discuss it. They find than they have many things in common. 汤姆和约翰在交换意见。
他们是很好的朋友，但是他们从来没有见过面。
那么他们是怎么成为朋友的呢
通过电脑
现在网络被公司，政府和学生们使用。
实际上只要电脑连接在网络上，任何人都可以使用它。
他们可以用它来发送电子邮件。
汤姆和约翰成为朋友是因为他们喜欢同样的歌曲。
他们把邮件发送到网络上的新闻中心，在那里他们可以讨论。
他们发现他们有很多相同的地方。
急求一篇五分钟英语演讲稿，最好是讲一个小笑话，再讲通过这笑话学到了什么
Love And TimeOnce upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all constructed boats and left. Except for Love. Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment.When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help.Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said,Richness, can you take me with you?Richness answered, No, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you.Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. Vanity, please help me!I can't help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat, Vanity answered.Sadness was close by so Love asked, Sadness, let me go with you.Oh . . . Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!Happiness passed by Love, too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her.Suddenly, there was a voice, Come, Love, I will take you. It was an elder. So blessed and overjoyed, Love even forgot to ask the elder where they were going. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Realizing how much was owed the elder,Love asked Knowledge, another elder, Who Helped me?It was Time, Knowledge answered.Time? asked Love. But why did Time help me?Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is.
英语幽默的演讲稿
A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday? I gave it to a poor old woman, he answered. You're a good boy, said the mother proudly. Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman? She is the one who sells the candy. 子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天的钱干什
” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回。
“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。
“再给你两分钱。
可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢
” “她是个卖糖果的。
”
求一篇幽默的类似笑话的英语演讲稿
A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when shespotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, andthe cat watched the mice. Mother mouse barked fiercely, Woof, woof, woof! The catwas so terrified that it ran for it's life. Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, Now, do you understand the value of a second language? 老鼠的第二语言也重要一只母老鼠带着孩子出来散步，突然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽。
母老鼠向着猫叫道：“汪，汪，汪”，猫听了非常害怕，拼命跑走了。
母老鼠回过头洋洋自得的对孩子说：“现在你知道外语的重要性了吧。
”
跪求 英语课前三分钟的演讲稿 或者一些小故事、笑话也行 初一水平 （带翻译）
一首英语小诗可以不。
Work like you don't need the money. 去爱吧，就像不曾受过伤一样， 跳舞吧，就像没有人欣赏一样， 唱歌吧，就像没有任何人聆听一样， 工作吧，就像不需要钱一样， 生活吧，就像今天是末日一样 > Love like you've never been hurt. > Dance like nobody's watching. > Sing like nobody's listening. > Live like it's Heaven on Earth.
我比赛用的演讲稿，要英语的叙事故事（最好幽默点），或者小笑话也行，意译，不要直译 3分钟左右，跪求
A 20-yr old pretty, sexy and sensual girl went to see a psychiatrist. 'Doctor, I'm so angry at my boyfriend that I must call him Bastard. I feel that he's gone too far, and he deserves it.' 'Hmm? Such a word is strong and rude. But may be you have your own reasons. Tell me about it so that I can help you.' 'Yes, thank you, Doctor. There was one night...we parked our car besides the beach and we were alone... and... he held my hand....' 'Did he hold your hand like this?' 'Yes, Doctor. Exactly like how you're holding it now' 'If it's only this, he doesn't deserve to be called Bastard. It means he doesn't want to be separated from you.' 'Then, he leaned his body towards me... and hugged me...' 'Like this?' 'Yes, Doctor. Exactly like how you're doing.' 'It's not a Bastard. It means he wanna stay forever by your side' 'Then he kissed me...' 'Like this?' 'Yes, Doctor. Exactly like how you're kissing me.' 'If its only a kiss like this, seriously you can't call him Bastard. it means he adores you.' 'Then he put his hands inside my clothes and touched my boobs, Doc...' 'Like this?' 'Yes, Doctor... exactly like that' 'It's not behavior of a bastard. It means he wants to protect you.' 'Then he took off all my clothes... slowly... ' 'Did you resist?' 'No. I let him do it, coz I love him...' 'Did he take off your clothes like this?' 'Yes, Doctor. Until I'm completely naked like now......' 'He still doesn't deserve to be called 'Bastard, because it means he wanna learn about your body completely.' 'Then he kissed me and put his.... inside me and had sex with me...' ....................... 'Did he do it just like what we do?' 'Yes, Doctor. Exactly the same' 'You still can't call him Bastard. It means he needs you.' 'But then he told me that he has AIDS' All the staff and patients outside heard the doctor screaming,' BASTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRD!'
