求一篇初三水平的约三分钟的英语演讲稿
环保问题: (1) As is apparently revealed in the pie charts above, forty-eight percent of people surveyed have never heard of the International No Motor Vehicle Day while fifty-seven percent are willing to give up driving on such a day. What is betrayed in the pie charts is most thought-provoking. The implied meaning of the pie charts is both disappointing and exciting. On the one hand, much necessary work still needs to be done with respect to environmental protection. The public ignorance of relevant environmental protection results from inadequate and limited popularity of environmental protection knowledge by relevant government departments at different levels. Since environmental protection is an international issue, we must constantly introduce the advanced and practical practice in other countries to our general public. Only in this way can we promote environmental protection in China. On the other hand, the enhancement of the public awareness of environmental protection is a welcome development. Over the past years, as people’s living standard improves, people attach more importance to the quality of their life. They have a better understanding of the relationship between environment and their daily life. As a result, they are more interested in following positive international models. In sum, we have got a mixed feeling toward the very fact revealed in the pie charts. In my view, necessary measures should be immediately taken to ensure a nice environment. First of all, government departments at all levels must play a more active role in popularizing international experience and practice of environmental protection. What’s more, the general public should be encouraged to participate more actively in environmental protection. Only in this way can we live in a healthy and harmonious environment. (278 words)(2) 一．自我介绍：Honorable Judges, Ladies and gentlemen, Fellow students, Good morning\\\/afternoon:尊敬的评委，先生们，女士们，各位同学们，早上\\\/下午好
I’m very glad to be here. My name is Wangqihang.非常高兴能参加比赛。
我的名字叫王启珩。
I’m ten years old. I come from Huanxi Primary school. I’m in Class 3, Grade 5.我今年10岁。
我来自环西小学，现在五年级三班。
As a happy boy，I have many hobbies, such as sports, playing piano, singing, and drawing.我是一个快乐男孩。
我有许多爱好，比如体育运动，弹钢琴，唱歌，画画等。
Among them, travel is my favorist one. I have visited some other cities, like Beijing, Hainan, Chongqing, Guangxi, Qindao, Dalian and so on.旅游是我的最爱。
我去过不少地方，如北京，海南，重庆，广西，青岛，大连等。
Everywhere I went, I enjoyed the natural scenery and appreciated the human landscape very much.每到一处都尽情享受那的自然风光与人文风情。
Not only that, I want to go abroad to take in the beauty of the custom of other countries in the future.不仅如此，我还希望能出国领略各国的民俗风情。
And I even dream about what the life will be when we are on planets other than our Earth.甚至我还梦想着在地球外的其它星球上生活将会是怎样的。
That is why I’m so interested in the following scientific report recently.所以最近我对下面这篇科学报道非常感兴趣。
二. 演讲部分：在我们享受的时候懂得珍惜Cherish what we are enjoyingIt is a report about the new planet which holds possibility for life.这是一篇关于发现了一颗有生命可能性的星球的报告。
It shows that European astronomers have discovered a new planet, they name it Gliese 581 c.说欧洲天文学家们发现了一颗新的星球，代号为“Gliese 581C”。
It is about 20.5 light years from our earth. They estimated the planet's average temperature at between 0 and 40 degrees Centigrade. It is orbiting the red dwarf star, Gliese 581.它距地球约20.5光年。
他们估计它的平均温度约在0℃～40℃之间。
它围绕着红矮星Gliese 581运行。
Most important of all, it’s an earth-like planet. There might be mountin, sea and liquid water.最重要的是，这颗星球和地球非常相似，它可能有山峦，有海洋，还有液态水。
So the astronomers believe that it is potentially habitable.所以科学家们相信它能支持生命的存在。
However, Gliese 581 c might be tidally locked to it’s sun-the dwarf star the way our moon is to the Earth.然而，就像月球一样，它只会公转，不会自转。
It means that it must always show its same face to its sun, and that while one side would be too fiercely hot to support life, the other side would be too cold.这就意味着它面对红矮星的一面会太热不适合生命体而背对红矮星的一面则会很寒冷。
This report makes me to realize that how valuable our earth is.这使我认识到我们地球有多么珍贵
Everyday, we can see sunrise and sunset.我们每天都可以看到日出日落。
The day and night keeps on exchanging. It’s not too hot in the daytime while not to cold at night.一天早晚有变化，昼夜不停地交换使白天不过分热，夜晚不过分冷。
Everyday, I go to school cheerfully in the morning and skip along at the way home as the sun set.清爽的早晨，我可以背着小书包高高兴兴地去上学。
夕阳西下，我又蹦又跳地回到家。
We could experience changes through the four seasons of one year. 一年四季有变化。
Spring is the season sowing seeds. It is pregnant with life and green.春天是播种的季节，充满了生机和绿色。
In the Summer, colorful swimming suits frolick in the water happily.夏天五颜六色的游泳衣在水里欢快地嬉戏。
Autumn is the harvest season , the paddy fields and trees are covered with golden color.秋天是丰收的季节，金黄铺满了稻田洒满了枝头。
In the winter，We can have snow battle, playing to our hearts' content in the world of silvery white.冬天我们打着雪仗，尽情地在银白色的世界里玩耍。
How fortunate we are because we can live on the earth!能生活在地球上,我们是多么地幸运啊。
We should cherish it, instead of polluting it, spoiling it or even destroying it.我们要珍惜它，千万别污染它，别糟践它，别破坏它
If One day, it is really angry and stop rotation, that will have be a disaster for us human being.如果有那么一天，它真的生了气停止了自转，那将是我们整个人类的巨大灾难。
So, let us protect our earth with our love, making it better and more harmonious.所以，让我们大家用自己的爱来好好保护宇宙中这颗唯一的地球吧，使它更美好更合谐。
三．才艺表演Ladies and gentlemen, Now let me show you a story about the monkey and the moon.先生们女士们，现在我给大家表演一个关于猴子与月亮的故事。
猴子捞月的故事：One day, a little monkey is playing by the well.一天，有只小猴子在井边玩儿。
He looks in the well and shouts :它往井里一瞧，高喊道：“Oh! My god! The moon has fallen into the well!”“噢
我的天
月亮掉到井里头啦
”An older monkeys runs over, takes a look, and says,一只大猴子跑来一看，说，“Goodness me! The moon is really in the water!”“糟啦
月亮掉在井里头啦
”And the oldest monkey comes over.老猴子也跑过来。
He is very surprised as well and cries out:他也非常惊奇，喊道：“The moon is in the well.”“糟了，月亮掉在井里头了
”A group of monkeys run over to the well.一群猴子跑到井边来，They look at the moon in the well and shout:他们看到井里的月亮，喊道：“The moon did fall into the well! Come on! Let’s get it out!”“月亮掉在井里头啦
快来
让我们把它捞起来
”Then, the oldest monkey hangs on the tree up side down ,with his feet on the branch .然后，老猴子倒挂在大树上，And he pulls the next monkey’s feet with his hands.拉住大猴子的脚，All the other monkeys follow his suit,其他的猴子一个个跟着，And they join each other one by one down to the moon in the well.它们一只连着一只直到井里。
Just before they reach the moon, the oldest monkey raises his head and happens to see the moon in the sky,正好他们摸到月亮的时候，老猴子抬头发现月亮挂在天上呢He yells excitedly “Don’t be so foolish! The moon is still in the sky!”它兴奋地大叫：“别蠢了
月亮还好好地挂在天上呢
”This is the end of the story. Do you like it?故事到这里就结束了。
你们喜欢吗
四．尾声Hope you all can remember me, Wangqihang, a happy guy like the sunshine.希望大家能记住我，王启珩，一个阳光般的快乐男孩。
Welcome you to visit my blog at 欢迎大学到 访问我的博客。
Thank you very much.谢谢大家。
(3)打好环保比赛、创建绿色北京 尽管2008北京奥运会离我们还有3年之遥，但有一项规模宏大的特殊比赛已经拉开了序幕。
这场比赛的参加者并非来自世界各国的体育选手，而是身处北京的每一位公民，比赛的场所就是我们身边的街区小巷。
我想大家已经想到了我所说的这项特殊比赛，这就是创建绿色北京、保护美好环境。
那么在这场环保大赛中，我们究竟要与谁一比高低
是繁华现代的洛杉矶、风光迷人的悉尼、还是古老神奇的雅典
都不是
比赛的对手就是我们自己，就是我们自身淡漠的环保意识。
几年前有幸在美国加州度过的一段时光，既让我享受了那里宜人的环境，更让我领略了当地人民高度的环保意识。
每当说到城市环保，我的眼前总会浮现出加州那蔚蓝的天空、明媚的阳光、碧绿的草地以及嬉戏在树枝间的松鼠、彩蝶和百灵鸟。
记得刚到美国时，常去爸爸工作的美国地质调查局玩耍，每次均能看到许多人骑自行车上下班，而其中一位满头白发的骑车老人，引起了我的好奇。
我问爸爸，那个爷爷为什么总骑车上班，是不是没钱买车
爸爸笑道：没钱买车
嘿，说出来吓死你，他可是世界上顶级的大科学家。
要论钱，他可以买一个车队呢。
那他咋不买车呢
骑车多累呀
他有车，但平时除非下雨或购物，一般不去开。
在美国有许多人都是环保主义者，为了节约能源和减少汽车尾气对大气的污染，他们用实际行动倡导人们尽量少开车。
而我们所居住的这座美国城市，还特别将每年的5月19日定成了'骑车上班日'，以支持和宣传这种有效的环保行为。
后来，我还在经常的搭车出行中获知了他们的另一件环保趣事：在美国的许多州，政府为了鼓励大家多坐公交车或几人合用一辆车，以节省能源和缓解交通压力，在城市内一些主干道路上开辟有专门的'钻石车道'，只有乘坐了二人或二人以上的车辆才从此通过。
美国人民这种自觉的环保意识和政府有效的环保措施使我从内心对他们充满了敬佩。
并深刻地影响了我的环保理念。
回国后，常常有人问我：美国好吗
我总会脱口而出：确实好
最好的是环境。
说句真心话，回国三、四年，美国那边同学和老师的面孔已经逐渐模糊，但加州那宜人的自然环境，却每每清晰地浮现在我的眼前，成为我最深的记忆和期盼故地重游的缘由，也成了我心目中北京环境的蓝图。
2008奥运会为我们倡导和实施北京的环保提供了契机，北京能否有朝一日也拥有象加州那样美丽的环境
答案是肯定的。
但需要我们以真正的环保之心和切实的环保行动去一步一步地实现。
从现在开始，如果每一位有车的朋友一星期可以少开一、两次车，每个让家长用车接送的同学一周能主动让家长少接送一两趟而改乘公车或骑自行车，我们就会有拥有更多的蓝天……。
只要我们每一位北京市民都能够自觉的从身边的环保小事做起，加州的蓝天、白云和绿草地就会在北京安家，美国的松鼠、彩蝶和百灵鸟就会来北京落户。
涓涓细流可以汇成滔滔江海，片片绿叶能够造就莽莽森林。
只要我们每一位北京市民都拿起手中的环保之笔，在我们所处的街头巷尾，为北京这幅美丽而古老的画卷添上自己的一抹绿色，就能使北京掩映在绿色的海洋中。
让我们一起行动起来，用我们集体的力量来打赢这场环保之赛，向全世界展现一块最大的金牌，这就是绿色北京、精彩奥运。
Win Competition of Environment Protection for Beijing Although the 2008 Olympics are still three years away, another special competition has already started in Beijing. This time, the competitors are not the athletes from all over the world, but the people living in Beijing. The special competition is not held in a stadium, but in every street and every corner of Beijing. I suppose some of you may have already guessed what the special competition is. Yes, it is the competition of protecting our environment and creating a green Beijing for the 2008 Olympic Games. Someone may ask who is our rival in this competition? The modern Los Angeles, the charming Sydney, or the historic Athens? No, none of them. The real rival is ourselves. It is our bad habits of neglecting to protect environment in our daily life. Several years ago, I was very lucky to have an opportunity to live in the United States for about two years. I not only enjoyed the beautiful environment there, but also appreciated the American people's active way of protecting their environment. Now, whenever the environment protection is mentioned, a beautiful view of California will arise in my mind: white clouds flying across the blue sky, green grassplot sprinkled with colorful flowers and small animals playing happily among the trees. I remember that at the beginning of my coming to America, I often went to my father's working place, the United States Geological Survey, to have fun. Each time I found a lot of people riding bicycles to their offices. Among the cyclists, an old man with white hair attracted my attention. Curiously, I asked my father, Why does the old man ride his bike to work every day? Doesn't he have enough money to buy a car? Father laughed, No, not because of money. Actually, he is one of the greatest scientists in the world. He can afford to buy a motorcade if he likes. He is just an environmentalist and usually doesn't drive unless going shopping, or in bad weather. In America, there are a lot of environmentalists, who actively protect their environment. For example, in Palo Alto city we are living now, there is even a bicycle-to-work day on May 19th every year to encourage people to decrease air pollution caused by cars. Later, I also learnt another interesting fact of environment protection there. In some states of America, in order to decrease air pollution, save energy and reduce traffic jams, state governments encourage people to take buses to work or to share a car among several people. They even set special diamond lanes in some main streets, which are only for the vehicles with 2 or more people. The positive actions of American people and the effective measures the American government takes in environment protection fully won my respects and deeply affected my consciousness in environment protection. When I was back in China, people often asked me: What do you think of America? I always bolt out: Wonderful, especially the beautiful environment. Frankly speaking, after several years, the faces of my American teachers and friends have gradually faded away from my mind, but the blue sky, green grass and lovely animals in California often arise in my mind, and became my dream of visiting there again. The 2008 Olympics provide us with the opportunity to publicize and practise environment protection in Beijing. Is it possible for Beijing to Is it possible for Beijing to become as beautiful as California? The answer is yes, but the dream needs every Beijing citizen's full support and active moves to accomplish. From now on, if every student who is driven to school can take bus or ride bicycle to school once a week, if every car owner goes to work in a car pool once a week, we can make a difference. If everyone can actively protect the environment in our daily life, the blue sky, green grass and lovely animals in California will appear in Beijing. Tiny streams can combine into a vast ocean, small trees can together be an immense forest. Beijing is often described as a beautiful and aged picture. If every Beijing citizen adds a trait of green on the picture, the whole Beijing will become an ocean of green. Let us unite together to win the competition of environment protection in Beijing, and present the world a big gold medal. That is Green Beijing, Great Olympics
求一篇英语口语三分钟左右的演讲稿（附上翻译）
我的家乡临沂My hometown linyi临沂市山东省东南部，地处以西，东连日莒县，西接济宁，南邻江州、连云港，北靠淄博、潍坊，西南连接枣庄，西北通达泰安。
Linyi city in shandong province is located in the south-east, is located in the west of the yellow sea, east sunshine, j, jining west, south jiangsu xuzhou, lianyungang, north of zibo, weifang, zaozhuang southwest connection, the northwest tongda taian.临沂市共发现地热异常区49处，总面积1417.85平方公里，预计远景地热资源总量5.4×1018J，相当于1.84亿吨标准煤的产热量。
已验证地热异常区12处，发现6处地热田，河东汤头，沂南松山、铜井，沂水许家湖四大温泉开发基地已初具规模。
Linyi city a total of 49, found that the geothermal anomaly area with a total area of 1417.85 square kilometers, the expected vision of geothermal resources 5.4 x 1018 j, equivalent to 184 million tons of standard coal to produce heat. Verified geothermal anomaly area 12, 6 geothermal field, the hedong broth, weapons, matsuyama, copper well more hsu family four hot spring lake development base is taking shape.生物资源种类较多。
临沂市有高等植物151科、1043种（包括变型或亚种）。
其中木本植物65科、367种，药用植物830余种，主要农作物品种923个。
动物约14纲1049种，其中淡水鱼15科57种，鸟类37科171种，哺乳类7目25种。
盛产金银花、银杏、大蒜、板栗、山楂、黄梨、苹果、花椒、核桃、蚕茧、白柳、蝎子等。
Sort is more biological resources. Linyi city has a higher plants of 151 families and 151 species (including variant or subspecies). Woody plants of 65 families, 65 species, more than 830 kinds of medicinal plants, 923 main crop varieties. About 14 classes, 1049 kinds of animals, including freshwater fish 15 families, 57 species, 37 families and 171 species of birds, mammals 25, 7 orders. Rich in honeysuckle, gingko, garlic, Chinese chestnut, hawthorn, pineapple, apple, Chinese prickly ash, walnut, silkworm cocoon, white willow, scorpion, etc
求科学饮食，健康生活的高中英语演讲稿，三分钟左右
Everyone wants to maintain good health, if you are healthy, then you can do you want to do anything, your family will be full of laughter, your work will be much more simple. You want to have a healthy body? Then try to do the following thing! First, you face daily smile, maintain a good mood. Take part in some sports, such as running，playing baseball. It is in a strong body. Secondly, we must pay attention to our diet, not to drink too much wine, water, every day at least eight cups of water; Deliberately not to lose weight, did you have no health benefits. Again, resulting from smoking on your own and other people is not good! To maintain good health let us do it. Others can take away our money, house, car, or even our clothes and we can survive. But if our health was taken away, we would surely die. That is why we always try to eat in a healthy way and exercise regularly. Living a long life may be a lot easier than you think. And there are some bad habit we need to get rid of 。
A report suggests 10 steps to a longer and healthier life. 1. Shun cigarette smoke, separate yourself from smokers. . Become a nag and tell anyone you know who smokes to stop. 2. Keep moving. The U. S. Department of Health and Human Services suggests every adult get at least 150 minutes of moderate aerobic activity a week. Sessions should be at least 10 minutes long. 3. Eat like an Aegean. Follow the Mediterranean diet pattern of mostly plant foods, limiting animal protein to fish and poultry, using olive oil as the principal fat and use wine in moderation. 4. Mind your body mass index. Obesity increases the risk of diabetes 20 times and substantially boosts the risk of developing high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke and gallstones. 5. Lift a glass, but only one. Alcohol's effects become more insidious as women age because the body's water-to-fat ratio declines over the years. 6. Don't run up a sleep debt. Medical evidence suggests we need seven to nine hours of sleep daily, but more than 60 percent of women regularly fall short of that goal. 7. Be your own best advocate on health issues. 8. Keep connected. Older women who remain socially active live longer and healthier lives than their solitary counterparts 9. Avoid stress. Find techniques to reduce stress and its effects. 10. Use supplements selectively. Experts agree the best way to get nutrients is through food. Only calcium and vitamin D, essential in preserving bone density, are recommended supplements. And that includes 1,200 mg of calcium and 1,000 mg of vitamin.
约三分钟得演讲稿
大家好
今天，我演讲的题目是：老师的宽容 秋叶流金，夕阳正好。
十几年了，这里依然如故。
一位青年站在高处的山路上，俯视着脚下的那一片田野村庄。
到了，就是这里了。
他站住，想起了老师的那句话：“孩子，不用敲门，我的门永远在为你敞开。
” “老师，您还记得我吗
”青年一边说，一边从衣兜里摸出个 精美的盒子。
他轻轻地打开盒盖，里面躺着一支破旧老式的钢笔。
“老师，还记得十多年前您被偷走的那支钢笔吗
我必须向您承认，当年那个小偷就是我。
总之，当年，我乘着课间休息，从您的桌子上偷走了它。
结果一上课，您就发现它的不翼而飞。
另一位老师非常气愤，因为那支钢笔是您已故爱人留下的唯一纪念，并提出搜查全班同学。
同学们都义愤填膺，纷纷举手表示赞同。
当时，恐惧已活埋了我......”青年自言自语道。
也许老师记不清下面的情景了，可对于青年，它终生难忘： 老师当时摆了摆手，说不想用这种方式得到答案，只希望那个偷走钢笔的孩子能够好好爱护它。
并且终有一天会承认自己的错误。
老师还说，孩子，不用敲门，我的门永远都在为你敞开。
轻轻的一个摆手，拯救了一位学生，改变了他一生的命运。
文章中老师宽容、无私的品质，正是对“老师”二字含义最为深刻的诠释。
老师的宽容，带给了学生新的希望。
宽容是一种爱，一种温暖，宽容是对心灵的帮助。
老师，就像一支粉笔，在黑板上写下知识、道理的同时，也一点一滴失去自己的青春；老师就像一盏明灯，那熬了自己的生命，也更给人以启迪，给人以振奋，给人以光明和希望的，永不会在我们心头熄灭的灯。
我们永远不会忘记在四川汶川大地震时，许多老师用自己的血肉身躯，保护了一个个朝气蓬勃的学生，创造了生命的奇迹......大概三分钟，你演讲时可以稍微慢一些。
三分钟幽默英语演讲
Class, Lass and AssProfessor Tom was going to meet his students on the next day, so he wrote some words on the blackboard which read as follows: Professor Tom will meet the class tomorrow.A student, seeing his chance to display his sense of humor after reading the notice, walked up and erased the c in the word class. The Professor noticing the laughter, wheeled around, walked back, looked at the student, then at the notice with the c erased--calmly walked up and erased the l in lass, looked at the flabbergasted student and proceeded on his way.班级、情人和蠢驴汤姆教授打算第二天与他的学生见面，因此他在黑板上写道：“汤姆教授明天将和大家见面”。
一位学生看到这条通知后，觉得展示自己幽默感的机会来了，就走上前，将“class”中的“c”擦掉，将意思变为“汤姆教授明天将和情妇见面”。
教授听到笑声，转过身走回来，看了看那位学生，又看看被改动过的通知，不动声色地走上前，把“lass”中的“l”擦掉，将意思改为“汤姆教授明天将和蠢驴见面”。
看了看那位目瞪口呆的学生，教授扬长而去。
Be Much WorsePoliceman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.可能更糟警察：当你的手表被抢的时候，你为什么不大声喊叫呢
男士：如果我张嘴喊叫，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。
那样情况就更糟了
Wait a MinuteTom: My grand God, what does a millennium mean to you?God: It only means a minute.Tom: My omnipotent god, what do 10,000 golden coins mean to you?God: Just a small coin.Tom: My humane god, please give me a small coin.God: Ok, poor man, please wait a minute.等一分钟汤姆：我伟大的上帝，一千年对你来说，意味着什么
上帝：它只意味着一分钟。
汤姆：我万能的上帝，一万枚金币对你来说，意味着什么
上帝：它只意味着一枚小硬币。
汤姆：我仁慈的上帝，那就请给我一枚小硬币吧
上帝：好吧，可怜的人，请等一分钟吧。
THE FIRST TIMEPatient: I'm so frightened, this is my first operation.Surgeon: I know just how you feel. This is my first operation, too.第一次病人：我很害怕，这是我第一次动手术。
外科医生：我完全理解你的心情。
这也是我第一次动手术。
GOOD SIGHTLawyer: You say you were about thirty-five feet away from the scene of the accident? Just how far can you see clearly?Witness: Well, when I wake up in the morning I see the sun, and they tell me it's about ninety-three million miles away.好视力律师：你说你离事故现场约有35英尺，你能看清多远的东西
证人：这么说吧，早上起床后我看见太阳，别人告诉我这大约有9300万英里远。
EXPENSIVE ADVICEThe doctor finally reached his table at a dinner, after breaking away from a woman who sought advice on a health problem.Do you think I should send her a bill? the doctor asked a lawyer who sat next to him.Why not? the lawyer replied. You rendered professional services by giving advice.Thanks, the physician said. I think I'll do that.When the doctor went to his office the next day to send the bill to the woman, he found a letter from the lawyer. It read:For legal services, $50.昂贵的建议大夫在打发走了一个就健康问题向他咨询的妇女之后，最后来到餐桌上。
“你认为我应该向她收费吗
”大夫问坐在身边的一个律师。
“有什么不应该
”律师答道，“你通过提建议提供了职业性服务。
”“谢谢，”大夫说道，“看来我得这么做。
”第二天当大夫去办公室给那位妇女写账单时，他收到律师的一封信。
信中写道：“请付法律服务费５０美元。
”HIS FAULTBilly: Mother, Bobby broke a window.Mother: How did he do it?Billy: I threw a rock at him and he ducked.他的错比利：妈妈，波比打坏了窗玻璃。
妈妈：他怎么打的
比利：我向他扔石头，他躲开了。
TELEMARKETERI answered the phone one evening and quickly realized the voice on the other end belonged to a telemarketer.Good evening, he said, may I speak with Leah Jonason?She is a baby, I replied.All right, said the caller, I'll try again later.电话推销员一天晚上我接了一个电话，对方的声音使我很快意识到他是个电话推销员。
“晚上好，”他说，“我想和利厄乔纳森说话。
”“她是个婴儿，”我回答说。
“没关系，”他说，“我以后再打。
”
贵州 我的家乡 英语演讲稿八年级。
求大神帮助。
三分钟。
大谢
此刻我站在这儿，我的目的、动机和所有的选手都不一样，我不是为冠军的宝座而来，也不是为两百万的奖金而来，我是为台上那四个评委的席位而来，我今天要公开地和四个评委进行PK，我要让他们知道，做评委不是一件很轻松的事情。
首先我要挑战那模样和我一样其貌不扬的著名电视节目主持人李咏先生。
他刚刚从央视下岗，他凭什么来当评委，那么编导告诉我呢，说他多才多艺，画画、唱歌、写作样样精通。
我说唱歌，他唱歌，我也能唱歌，并且我唱歌还能赚钱，我曾经靠唱歌赚了一个亿。
编导说你就吹吧，人家张学友唱歌也赚不了一个亿。
我说我没事，我就喜欢在家里唱歌，每次我唱的时候呢，我们家隔壁的邻居都以为我们家闹鬼，怎么老是鬼哭狼嚎的，时间长了之后呢，他就受不了了，最后慌慌张张把他的房子低价就给卖了。
谁买的，我。
我买的时候两千万，现在一点二个亿。
大家觉得我的歌唱得怎么样。
接着我要挑战我们的台湾帅哥林志颖先生，他尽管帅，可是我们今天这个节目不是赛车、不是选美，所以他尽管是万千少女心目中的白马王子，可是在男人的眼中他依然是有些奶油小生加小白脸。
大家不要看我皮肤这么黑，我当年在欧洲留学的时候，在我们班黑人女同学的心目中，我也是她们心目中的白马王子。
接着我要挑战那光头，那只会纸上谈兵的所谓的恋爱专家乐嘉先生，因为我才是真正的恋爱专家，大家不要看我这个样子，可是我的太太却是当年隔壁大学的校花，那么当年追她为她亮的灯，能够照亮整个合肥。
而我当年不仅不在她的候选名单里面，反而在她的黑名单里面，可是最后我抱得美人归，我凭的是什么，肯定凭的不是我这张脸，而是我的口才，我的超级演说家的风采。
最后我要挑战那模样和我最为般配陈鲁豫小姐。
她又凭什么来当评委呢
编导说因为她是中国的脱口秀女王，我说脱口秀女王，我是名正言顺的香港脱口秀大赛的冠军，而我的脱口秀与众不同，别具一格。
讲着讲着刷一下，我的上衣就脱了，脱了之后呢，大家看到我的胸前写着“爱传万家 说出你真实的赤裸裸的故事”，我的后背写着“《鲁豫有约》2013年全面改版 胡野碧策划”。
所以现在我要诚恳地面向陈鲁豫小姐，您愿意和我一起去做这个新的电视节目吗
如果您愿意，我将会很高兴的拉着您一起奔向一个跳水电视节目的跳台，You jump I jump（你跳我也跳），让我们一起摔个鼻青脸肿，那样的话，我们的脸就都会显得胖一些，我们就可以合肥了。
