英语演讲稿 急.!
三篇关于师生之间的英文笑话 作者： 来源： -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1、Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning? Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,School-Go slow. 老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到? 汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,僦看见一个牌子仩写着学校----慢行. 2、Two Birds[摘自爱爱英语学习网] Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which? Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher: Please tell us. Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. 两只鸟 老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。
谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗
学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
3、The Fish Net Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann? A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl. 鱼网 你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安
老师发问道。
把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。
小女孩回答道。
4、The New Teacher George comes from school on the first of September. George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother. I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too..... 新老师 9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。
乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗
妈妈问。
妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。
5、A physics Examination Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls? Nick's answer: Because our eyes are before ears. 一次物理考试 在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。
这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声
尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。
回答者：08wangyihan - 试用期 一级 1-30 17:52Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them? Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath? Stan: Blindfold them! 斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼。
弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们
斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办
斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛
我需要一份有关电影的英语演讲稿,大约2分钟
美国电影《天生一对》At the first time I saw the film, I was deeply touched by the naught and lovely twins, Especially the first time they were met at the school. It is very interesting, then I was touched by the content of the film, I think the love Is very important In our life, whenever you are, wherever you live, no matter what the situations we face, love is always in there, in our heart, it not changed by the environment we are, the true love is not change, it is can make us feel great no matter what the mood we are in,The film gave me a good lesson about love after I saw it, the love about parents, the love between family members, from the film we can seen that the time has make the family apart, they live far away from each other, but what makes the family reunion, I think all the people can know the reason, it is about love, because they love each other very much, although they are apart along time, but the heart get close each other, the good end of this film can tell us above.The true love is not changed by other peoples, in the film, the Meredith want to marry Nick because his property, but endless,so I think money can make many things come true, we can many things we want, when it comes to love, money can not make love come true forever, I think this film is a good example about life, so we should love each other in the family and cherish the relationships we made......................................1,当幸福来敲门the pursuit of happyness it is inspired by a true story . a man who used up all his money to buy a kind of medical machine. he thought he would make a forture ,but it might be the other way around .long time has passed,but he hasn't sold even one set. the family is totally in debt .his wife have been working for 16h a day for 4 month and his son is sent into a kindergarten (which cannot spell happiness correctly ) . the hero ,Chris,graduated from college ends to be a stock worker,really impressive and amazing.but it is not conincident ,all the credits come from his personal efforts ,persistence,unyielding faith in himself. there are devastating things occured to this poor man :his wife left him ,he is swept off by his landlady. and he took his son to live in the charity house which they have to stand in line in time. i am deep moved by his faith in pursuit his happiness. during the dark days ,he thought of THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE which says the pursuit of happiness. he doubt about it:whether happiness exsists or just the pursuit exsits. however hard it is ,he never gives up hope and trying . the most classic words that i think the ones he told his son. Don't ever let somebody tell you , you can't do something , not even me , all rigjht ? you got a dream ,you got to protect it . people can't do something themselves they want to tell you,you cant do it. you want some ,go get it 电影的灵感来自于一个真实的故事。
一个男人用光所有的钱来购买医疗设备。
他认为他会作 会有未来的，但也可能是反过来。
一段时间过去了，但他甚至没有卖一部机器。
他们家欠了 一屁股债。
他的妻子工作4个月每天做16小时，他的儿子被送到了到幼儿园。
那个英雄，克里斯，大学毕业后成为股票工作者，实在令人印象深刻.所有的钱都是通过他的个人努力，毅力，对自己坚定不移的信念得来的。
可怕的事情发生在这个可怜的人身上：他的妻子离他而去。
他带儿子住在需要及时排队得到的慈善房里。
我为他追求幸福的信念所感动。
在黑暗的日子，他想到了独立宣言里讲对幸福的追求。
对此，他怀疑：是否幸福真的存在或者说他最求的梦想是否存在。
不管有多困难，他从没有放弃希望和努力。
我认为里面最经典的话是那个他告诉他的儿子。
“千万不要让别人告诉你，你不能做一些事情，甚至是我，知道了吗
” “你有梦想，你必须保护它。
人不能做自己的事情，他们想告诉你，你不能这样做。
你想得到一些，就去行动吧” ------------------------------------------------------------- 2，暮光之城（有好多系列啊，取第一部吧~） Twilight Main article: Twilight (novel) Bella Swan moves from Phoenix, Arizona to live with her father in Forks, Washington to allow her mother to travel with her new husband, a minor league baseball player. After moving to Forks, Bella finds herself involuntarily drawn to a mysterious, handsome boy, Edward Cullen. She eventually learns that he is a member of a vampire family who drinks animal blood rather than human. Edward and Bella fall in love, but James, a sadistic vampire from another coven, is drawn to hunt down Bella. Edward and the other Cullens defend Bella. She escapes to Phoenix, Arizona, where she is tricked into confronting James, who tries to kill her. She is seriously wounded, but Edward rescues her and they return to Forks, having killed James. 来自亚利桑那州凤凰城的贝拉搬来与她那在福克斯华盛顿的父亲同住，为了让她的母亲前往与她的新丈夫---一个小联盟棒球选手旅行。
搬到福克斯后，贝拉发现自己不由自主地被一个神秘的英俊少年爱德华库伦吸引。
她终于得知他是一个专喝动物的血的吸血鬼家庭，而不是人类。
爱德华和贝拉在恋爱，但詹姆斯，来自另一集团的虐待狂吸血鬼，要追捕贝拉。
爱德华和其他人保护贝拉。
她逃到亚利桑那州凤凰城，在那里她将面对的是试图杀死她的詹姆斯。
她严重受伤，但爱德华救她回到了福克斯，并杀死詹姆斯。
---------------------------------------------------------- 3，蝴蝶效应The Butterfly Effect The Butterfly Effect is a provocative thriller that represents an intriguing new direction for Ashton Kutcher and features a dynamic ensemble cast including Amy Smart, Ethan Suplee, Eric Stoltz, and more. Some people want to forget the past. Others want to change it. Ashton Kutcher (Just Married) stars as Evan Treborn, who ties his emotional scars in adulthood to the frequent blackouts he had as a child. As he begins to unravel intensely personal truths about his childhood circle of friends, Evan decides to risk everything in a bold attempt to change the past, hoping to save the people he loves even if it means destroying everything he knows. 希望能帮到你~
求一篇5分钟左右 有趣的英语演讲稿。
要通俗易懂贴近生活、有趣。
幽默演讲——调侃自己（中英对照） 演讲者如何调侃自己作为一个演讲者，我从观众那只得到过两种抱怨：一种是我讲话声音太大了，他们无法入睡；第二种是我讲得时间太长了，他们无法一直清醒。
As a speaker, I’ve only had two complaints from audiences. One, that I talk so loud they can’t fall asleep. And two, that I talk so long they can’t stay awake.创新句子：你们或者睡觉，或者不睡，只要不打呼噜，我就接着讲。
作为一个讲演者，他的演讲总拿来和林肯的哥得堡演讲[一个著名的演讲]相比较。
当他演讲结束时，也有悲伤、眼泪和悲痛——特别是计划委员会。
As a speaker, he has often been compared to Abraham Lincoln delivering the Gettysburg Address. When he finishes his speech, there is also sorrow, tears and mourning ---- especially by the program committee.幽默注释：演讲者讲得太糟糕了，组织者哭得很伤心。
演讲结束时，宴会主人感谢你从繁忙的日程中抽出时间来——你泰然自若，优雅地点头微笑着，心里非常清楚你日历上唯一的事情就是就早餐后喝点咖啡。
Poise is when you finish your speech and the toastmaster thanks you for taking time out of your busy schedule to be a part of their program --- and you nod and smile graciously knowing full well that the only thing on your calendar is a little coffee from breakfast.幽默注释：一些老干部退休后没什么事干，有人请他参加一些活动，他还假装很忙，好象推开了很多事才赶去似的。
过去我演讲时常常会比较紧张，但那时我看到一条信息说如果你想象所有的观众都是裸体会有所帮助。
此时此刻，我站在这里想象着观众都是裸体，真的起作用，我不再紧张了，但眼睛有些疲劳。
I used to get nervous when giving a speech but then I read that it helps to think of the entire audience as being naked. And so, at this very moment, I’m standing up here imagining every one in this audience as being naked. And it really works. I no suffer from nervousness. Eyestrain. Yes.幽默注释：把观众想象成裸体，意思是我不怕你们，就不紧张了。
创新句子：大部分人站在讲台上都会有点儿紧张，我属于少部分人，我非常紧张。
我本人不自负——我简直不能告诉你们我是多么钦佩我这一点。
Personally, I have never been conceited --- and I can’t tell you how much I admire myself for that.幽默句子：他因为自己不自负，所以变得非常骄傲。
创新句子：我一点儿都不自负，我希望别人也这么看我。
我先用简单明了的英语演讲，以后我再翻译给律师听。
Let me put this into plain English. I’ll translate it for the lawyers later.幽默注释：律师总喜欢用复杂的语言，简单的话都听不懂了。
创新句子：我的讲话有三个版本，小学生版本，中学生版本，大学生版本，你是听小学一年纪版的，还是小学二年纪版的
如果你听过这个故事，请不要打断我，我就知道这一个故事。
If you’ve already heard this story, please don’t stop me because it’s the only one I know.幽默注释：就是你知道两个故事，讲故事前也可以这么说。
创新句子：我讲个笑话，如果你们听过，也希望装做没听过，我也这样照顾你们。
演讲就象给草坪浇水，如果有四分之一的水渗下去你就满意了。
Making a speech is like watering a lawn. You’re satisfied if just a quarter of it sinks in.幽默注释：有人打呼噜，有人说话，都是正常的，有四分之一观众听就不错了。
演讲开始时我们有一些共同点，你们不知道我要讲什么——我也不知道。
At the very start, let me just say that we both have something in common. You don’t know what I’m going to say --- and neither do I.幽默句子：即兴演讲的开场白。
创新句子：我不知道你们会不会喜欢我的演讲，我不知道我要讲点儿什么。
开始前我想告诉你们下面的演讲已经编辑成了电视节目，我现在少讲20分钟，我们能够及时赶回家看2台的节目。
Before I begin, I want you to know that the following speech has been edited for television. I cut 20 minutes out of it so we could all get home in time for the game on channel 2.幽默注释：放着现场不看，偏要回家在电视上看。
可能你们有些人知道我今晚出现在这里有两个原因：第一个原因是你们的计划委员会一直在设法寻找一个聪明、有趣、老练的演讲者，——他们找到了。
第二个原因是那个人病了，所以就打电话把我找来了。
As some of you may know, I’m appearing here tonight for two very good reasons. The first reason is your Program Committee was trying to find a speaker who’s intelligent, entertaining, sophisticated --- and they did. The second reason is, he got sick so they called me.幽默注释：一开始好象在说自己很牛，其实就是个临时替场。
创新句子：我认为我演讲很风趣，可为什么没人笑呢
有人有舞台恐惧症，我没有；舞台不会怎么样我，是观众快把我吓死了
Some people suffer from stage fright. I don’t. The stage doesn’t bother me at all. It’s the audience that scares the hell out of me!幽默注释：stage fright舞台恐惧症，而不是舞台吓唬我。
我们每个人都希望能在某一时刻把时钟拨回去。
如果我能够把时钟拨回去45分钟，我就是这间房间里最幸福的人，我把演讲稿落在厨房桌子上了。
At one time or another, I think each of us has wished we could turn back the clock. I know if I could turn back the clock just 45 minutes, I’d be the happiest person in this room. Because that’s when I left my speech on the kitchen table.幽默注释：自己上台前还在刻苦练习，演讲稿落家里了，讲错了希望观众包涵。
我不想吹牛，但上次我演讲时所有的观众都站了起来，他们再也没有坐下，直到走到他们的汽车那儿。
I don’t want to brag, but the last time I did this it brought the audience to its feet. And they never sat down again until they reached their cars.幽默注释：观众听他演讲，都站起来走了，他还在吹牛呢。
创新句子：我演讲时用一种平缓的语速娓娓道来，观众睡得很香甜。
如果我有点儿犹豫，你们一定要原谅我，这是我第一次饭后演讲——在卖当劳里冲我的小孩儿喊叫除外。
If I’m a little hesitant, you’ll have to excuse me. This is the first after-dinner speech I’ve ever made ---except for yelling at my kids in McDonald’s.幽默注释：自嘲自己演讲没什么经验。
创新句子：你可能知道我已经养成了饭后演讲的习惯。
我不习惯面对这么多观众演讲，让我鼓起勇气的一件事情就是我在谈论我最喜欢的题目——我。
I’m not used to speaking to such a large audience. The one thing that gives me courage is that I’m speaking on my favorite subject --- me.幽默注释：电视上老是邀请一些名人在那儿大谈自己，这些人开场可以这么说。
人们总问我为什么我戴顶10加仑的红色帽子（或者一些其它非常显眼的衣服饰品），我告诉他们那是我采取的积极现实的生活态度。
我知道不管发生什么事情，善良的上帝总在注视着我们。
现在地球上有60亿人，我希望上帝能从芸芸众生中一眼就挑出我来。
People always ask me why I wear a big red ten gallon hat (or some other very noticeable article of clothing) and I tell them. It has to do with taking a positive but practical view of life. For instance, I know that no matter what happens, the good Lord is watching over us. Then again, there are now six billion of us, so I want to make darn sure He can pick me out of the crowd.幽默注释：多么新颖的创意，戴顶绿帽子就想引起上帝注意。
创新句子：别再说谎了，趁上帝还没注意你。
如果你们允许我准备读我的讲稿，我有三个理由：第一，我记忆力非常差——其它两个原因我记不清了。
With your permission, I’m going to read this paper. I’m going to read it for three reasons: one, I have a very poor memory –and the other two I can’t remember.幽默注释：为自己忘词找好借口。
创新句子：我记忆力不好，我忘了把讲稿带来。
不必要的单词是精彩演讲的祸根，我再重复一遍…Unnecessary words are the bane of good speeches. Let me repeat that…幽默注释：这时候重复带来很好的效果。
创新句子：演讲时最忌讳重复，我再说一遍：千万不要重复。
有时候确实让人糊涂，你看见代表举起了胳膊，但你根本确定不了他是在凭良心选举还是在检查他的关节炎。
It did get a little confusing at times. If you saw a delegate raising his arm, you could never be quite sure if he was voting his conscience or testing his arthritis.幽默注释：有人举胳膊未必是在真心选你。
创新句子：选举时只要我关节炎不犯，我肯定会举手。
对不起，（从钱包里拽出一张纸币，象拿手绢一样，在上面打喷嚏，然后扔掉）如果说我憎恨什么的话，那就是炫耀。
Excuse me. (Pull a bill from your wallet, handle it as you would a handkerchief, sneeze and then throw the bill away and say) If there’s one I hate ostentation.幽默注释：炫耀吧，有钱人有炫耀的资本。
创新句子：我不想炫耀，有学问的人不爱炫耀。
你们都知道，在公司里我只要求员工三件事：诚实、正直和崇拜偶像。
As you know, in all these years with the company, I have only asked for three things from my staff: honesty, integrity and idolatry.
英语高手帮我翻译一下,关于销售的演讲稿
80% of the world's richest starts from sales. STEVE BALLMER first job is to sell ice cream for p &g associations and dessert. Now, we are looking for a job, I think a lot of students to sales will interest. Then I will introduce the industry sales.Sales what??? As the name suggests, is marketing and sales.The salesman is responsible for the scope is to provide customers with services and help the customer to choose the most satisfied products. Once I trained in the Canon, a good salesman will according to the customer's age, identity and purpose for the customer to choose the most suitable products. For instance you sell is camera, your customer is the student's words, he recommended to him novel style, colour of beautiful beautiful camera. If mature and steady business people, perhaps he has camera pixels, performance and so more demanding, can be recommended to him the luxury points, such as the SLR camera. If is the family photos, you'll recommend ordinary cameras, simple operation.However, the salesman what duty every day? A good sales personnel can provide many customers useful information, standing in the company's point of view, the salesman every responsibility have:1, know you the sales of products, such as type, function and its price, now customers are professional, if you don't know your products, then you sell hard to convince.2, understanding your opponent. Such as Canon of a competitor is SONY Ericsson, you must understand the SONY Ericsson product, know their superior\\\/inferior
小学英语演讲稿
A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday? I gave it to a poor old woman, he answered. You're a good boy, said the mother proudly. Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman? She is the one who sells the candy. 子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天的钱干什
” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回。
“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。
“再给你两分钱。
可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢
” “她是个卖糖果的。
”
求一篇英语演讲稿,主题是:面对挑战.
Do not cut down the tree that gives you shade. 不要忘恩负义。
Do not despise your enemy. 万勿轻敌。
Do not give a dog bread every time he wags his tail. 不要有求必应。
Do not praise a day before sunset. 切勿褒贬过早。
Do not run too fast after gain. 不要见利就拼命追。
Do not speak of your happiness to one less fortunate than yourself. 不要向不如你幸运的人述说你的幸福。
Do not swap horses when crossing a stream. 处在危难中，不宜大更动。
Do no through fear of poverty surrender liberty. 不要因为怕贫苦而放弃自由。
Do not to others what you do not wish them to do to you. 己所不欲，勿施于人。
Do not wash dirty linen in public. 家丑不可外扬。
Don't cast out the foul water till you bring in the clean. 清水未来，莫泼赃水。
Don't count your chicken before they are hatched. 不要过早乐观。
Don't climb a tree to look for fish. 勿缘木求鱼。
Don't cross the bridge till you get to it. 不要杞人忧天。
Don't fly till you wings are feathered. 羽毛未丰不要飞。
Don't cry out before you are hurt. 还没受苦，就别叫苦。
Don't halloo till you are out of the wood. 没有脱离危险不要先欢呼。
