要一个两人演的相声都是女孩，要搞笑的，说人的，求台词，谢谢
请采纳我的问题 1、一个女生前一天晚上得到男朋友的订婚戒指，但竟没有一个同学注意到，令她忿忿不平。
到下午大家坐着谈天的时候，她突然站起来大声说：“哎呀，这里真热呀，我看我还是把戒指脱下来吧。
” 2、女主人把女佣叫到面前问她：“你是否怀孕了
” “是啊
”女佣回道。
“亏你还说得出口，你还没有结婚，难道不觉得害羞吗
”女主人再次训。
“我为什么要害羞，女主人你自己不也怀孕了吗
” “可是我怀的是我丈夫的
”女主人生气地反驳。
“我也是啊
”女佣高兴地附和。
3、一个人骑摩托车喜欢反穿衣服，就是把口子在后面扣上，可以挡风。
一天他酒后驾驶， 翻了，一头栽在路旁。
警察赶到： 警察甲：好严重的车祸。
警察乙：是啊，脑袋都撞到后面去了。
警察甲：嗯，还有呼吸，我们帮他把头转回来吧。
警察乙：好.....一、二使劲，转回来了。
警察甲：嗯，没有呼吸了....... 4、在一条七拐八拐的乡村公路上，因为时常发生车祸，所以常常有一些鬼故事发生，有一天晚上，有一个出租车司机看见路边有一个长发披肩，身着白衣的女人向他招手，因为这个司机没有见过鬼，所以大胆的停下来让她上车了，这一路上,司机虽然不信有鬼，心里也毛毛的，所以时常从后视镜看后面的女人，开着开着，突然司机发现那个女人不见了
司机吓了一大跳，赶紧踩了一个刹车
只见那个女人满脸是血，表情狰狞。
司机吓的牙直打颤。
突然那女人开口了：“你会不会开车啊
我低头系个鞋带你突然一刹车我把鼻子都撞破了……” 5、一个病人去看病，医生检查了他，皱着眉头说：“您病得太严重了，恐怕不会活多久了。
” 病人：“求您告诉我我还能活多久
” 医生：“十……” 病人着急地问：“十什么
十年
十个月十天
” 医生：“十，九，八，七，六，五……” 6、老师：“你能说一些18世纪科学家共同特点吗
” 学生：“能，他们都死了。
” 7、犀粪蜣和蚊子谈恋爱，蜣问蚊子是做什么工作的，蚊子说：“护士，打针的。
”蜣一拍大腿：“缘分呐，我是中药局搓药丸的…” 8、一非洲人住在某一宾馆。
夜半，起火，不明原因。
非洲人见状顾不了那么许多，光着身子就跑出去了。
消防员见状惊呼：“我的妈呀
都烧的糊了吧区的了还能跑那么快
” 9、一个人想出国考察，但必须得到老总批准。
于是他向老总请示，老总给了他一张字条，上面写着：“Go ahead”。
那人想：“Go ahead=前进，老总是批准了。
”于是他开始打点行李。
一个同事见到了他问：“你在做什啊
”他说：“我准备出国考察，老总批准了，给我写了‘Go ahead’。
” 同事一见条就乐了：“咱们老总根本就没批准
咱老总的英语水平你还不知道，他这是在说去个头
” 10、牧师对买了他马和马车的农夫说：“这匹马只能听懂教会的语言，叫感谢上帝它就跑;叫赞美上帝它才停下。
”农夫将信将疑，他试着喊了一声感谢上帝，那匹马立刻飞奔起来，越跑越快。
一只跑到悬崖边上惊恐的农夫才想起让它停下来的口令“赞美上帝”。
果然，马停下来了。
死里逃生的农夫长出一口气：“感谢上帝………”我打了很久，请采纳1 the night before, a girl get boyfriend engagement ring, but no one noticed the classmate, make her antics. You sit and chat in the afternoon, she suddenly stood up and shouted: \\\\oh, it's really hot in here, I think I'd better take off your ring.\\\\ 2, the mistress called the maid to ask her: \\\\are you pregnant?\\\\ \\\\Yes!\\\\ The maid answered. Export \\\\kui you still say, you are not married, don't you feel shy?\\\\ The hostess training again. \\\\Why should I be shy, you don't the hostess also pregnant?\\\\ \\\\But I conceive is my husband!\\\\ The hostess retorted angrily. \\\\Me too!\\\\ The maid happy to echo. 3, a man riding a motorcycle like the dress, is to cut on the back, can the wind. Drunk driving one day, he turned over, a planted on the road. Police: police a: a good serious car accident. Policeman b: yes, his head hit the back. Po1: well, still breathing, let's help him turn his head back. Po2: good... One, two, turn back. Policeman a: well, not breathing... 4, turn in a curvy country road, because often in a car accident, so often have some ghost story, one night, there's a taxi driver saw the side of the road have a long hair shawls, dressed in a white woman waved to him, because the driver didn't see a ghost, so bold stopped to let her get on the bus, along the way, the driver doesn't believe in ghosts, the in the mind also maomao, so often the woman behind the rearview mirror to see, open open, the driver found the woman suddenly disappeared! The driver startled, hurriedly stepped on a brake! I saw the woman face is blood, grim expression. The driver frighten of teeth chatter. Suddenly the woman spoke: \\\\would you drive! I bow to fasten shoelaces are you smashed through a sudden brake my nose...\\\\ 5, a patient to see a doctor, the doctor examined him, frowning said: \\\\you too serious ill, I'm afraid I won't live much longer.\\\\ Patient: \\\\please tell me how long will I live?\\\\ Doctor: \\\\ten...\\\\ Patient anxiously asked: \\\\what? Ten years?? Ten months??? Ten days?????\\\\ Doctor: \\\\ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five...\\\\ 6, teacher: \\\\can you say some 18 th-century scientists common characteristics?\\\\ Student: \\\\yes, they are all dead.\\\\ 7, rhino poop Qiang and mosquito fall in love, Qiang asked a mosquito is to do what work, the mosquito said: \\\ urse, give or take an injection.\\\\ Qiang a clap a thigh: \\\\the fate, I am a traditional Chinese medicine bureau rub pills...\\\\ 8, the africans live in a hotel. In the midnight, a fire, unknown reason. Before rushing so many africans, naked and ran out. Firefighters said exclaimed: \\\\my mama ah! All paste the burned area can run so fast!\\\\ 9, a person wants to go abroad, but it must be approved by boss. So he to the manager for instructions, the boss gave him a note, it read: \\\\Go ahead\\\\. The man thought, \\\\Go ahead = progress, boss is approved.\\\\ So he started to packing. A colleague to see he asked: \\\\what are you doing?\\\\ He said: \\\\I'm ready to Go abroad investigation, boss approved, wrote me 'Go ahead'.\\\\ Colleague of joy at the sight of article: \\\\let's boss haven't approved!!!!! Our boss English don't you know, he is said to head!\\\\ 10, priests to buy his horse and carriage of the farmer said, \\\\this horse can only understand the language of the church, call\\\\ thank god \\\\it ran; called\\\\ praise god \\\\it didn't stop.\\\\ Farmer track, he tried to thank god gave a cry, the horse gallop, immediately ran faster and faster. A run to the edge of the cliff frightened farmer remembered that let it stop password \\\\praise god\\\\. Sure enough, the horse stopped. Close the farmer grows a sigh: \\\\thank god.........\\\\I played for a long time, please
求一个搞笑小品，6人表演，要求台词带有简单英语。
话剧可以不
6人英语话剧小剧本-小红帽Little Red Riding Hood第一场：Little Red Riding Hood家 Mum： (妈妈拿着一个篮子，把桌子上的水果放在篮子里） Little Red Riding Hood:(唱着歌，欢快地跑进来）Hi,mummy, what are you doing? Mum： （一边把水果放在篮子里，心事重重地说）Grandma is ill. Here are some apples and bananas for Grandma. Take them to Grandma. Little Red Riding Hood：（边提起篮子，边点头说）Ok! Mum： （亲切地看着Little Red Riding Hood说） Be good. Be careful. Little Red Riding Hood： Yes ,mummy．Goodbye, mummy. Mum： Bye-bye. Darling. 第二场：在路上 (一阵轻快的音乐由远而近，Little Red Riding Hood挎着篮子蹦跳跳地跳到花草旁) Little Red Riding Hood： Wow
Flowers, how beautiful! （放下篮子采花）One flower ,two flowers, three flowers. Wolf：（随着一阵低沉的音乐，Wolf大步地走上台）I am wolf. I am hungry. (做找东西状,东张西望) Here is a little red riding hood. Hi! Little Red Riding Hood. Where are you going? (做狡猾的样子和Little Red Riding Hood打招呼) Little Red Riding Hood：(手摸辫子，天真地回答)To Grandma’s．Grandma is ill. Wolf：（自言自语）I' ll eat Grandma. But……（对Little Red Riding Hood说）Hey, look! 6 little baby ducks. Little Red Riding Hood：(和6只鸭子随着音乐翩翩起舞) Wolf：（悄悄地藏到大树后） Little Red Riding Hood：（停止跳舞）Hello! Baby ducks，how are you? Six Ducks：We’ re fine．Thank you． Where are you going? Little Red Riding Hood：To Grandma’s．Oh, I must go, bye. Six Ducks：Goodbye． 第三场：Grandma家 Grandma： （喘着气出场，颤颤悠悠地走到床前，吃力地坐到床边，喘了几口，打几个哈欠，慢吞吞地躺倒在床上。
） Wolf：（从树后出来，边走边说）I am very hungry now. (做找寻的样子)Where is Grandma’ s house? (高兴地对观众说)Aha , it’s here.(敲门)Bang, Bang, Bang． Grandma： Who is it
Wolf：（装出Little Red Riding Hood的声音，一边得意地摇动尾巴，一边说）It’s me. Little Red Riding Hood. Grandma： (边说边起床) Come in, come in. Wolf：(得意洋洋地走到床边) Grandma , I’ll eat you. Grandma： （惊慌失措地抓紧衣服，瞪着眼睛，边叫迫从床上滚到地上） 灰狼把外婆吞到了肚子里。
Wolf：（得意地拍拍肚子，翘起大拇指）Yummy
I’ll sleep. Little Red Riding Hood：(高兴地敲门)Grandma．Grandma． Wolf：(装扮成Grandma的声音) Who is it
Little Red Riding Hood：It’s me。
Little Red Riding Hood. What a strange noise! Wolf：Come in， Come in. Little Red Riding Hood：(蹦跳着进来，把篮子放在桌子上，走到床前一看，跳回几步)Oh! What are big ears! Wolf：I can listen to your sweet voice. Little Red Riding Hood：Wow! What a big eyes! Wolf：I can see you pretty face. Little Red Riding Hood：Oh! What a big hand. Wolf：I can hug you. Little Red Riding Hood：（跪在床前，拉起Wolf的手，边摸边说）Look! What a big hands? Wolf：(从床上跳起来说)I can eat you! Little Red Riding Hood：(拼命地跑)Oh
No! No! Wolf：（追到Little Red Riding Hood，做吃状，拍拍肚子说）It’s delicious. I still sleep. I like sleeping. Hunter： (一边拿着枪，一边做寻找状出场)Where’s the wolf? Look! A door．(推门)The wolf is sleeping. Wolf：(发出呼呼的响声) Hunter： (端起枪想打，又放下)What a big stomach! (摸摸Wolf的肚子)Grandma and Little Red Riding Hood are inside .I must be hurry．(从桌子上拿起剪刀，举起) Look! Scissors. (做剪Wolf的肚子)Cut, cut, cut. Little Red Riding Hood\\\/Grandma：Thank you． Hunter： Grandma ,give me some needles and thread． Little Riding Hood ,Give me some stones． Grandma： (从桌子上拿来针线) Little Red Riding Hood：(搬来几个石头)One, two, three. Hunter： (把小石头装进Wolf的衣服里) Grandma： I'll thread it. Hunter： (拿起枪)Woke up! Wolf：(起床，两手托着大肚子)My stomach is so heavy. Hunter： You big bad wolf, raise your arms! Wolf：(边跑边说) Help! Don’t shot me! Hunter： （开枪）Bang, bang! Wolf： (应声倒下) Hunter： The bad wolf is dead． Little Red Riding Hood和Grandma：Yeah! Thank you． Little Red Riding Hood、Grandma、Hunter（一起鞠躬）: Thank you
急急急
急要英文短剧剧本
两个人演的
十几分钟即可
可以演泰坦尼克号露西和杰克在甲板上见面的那个场景，其中经典台词i can see you. 那一段正合适两人演。
有人知道适合6人演的英语话剧剧本吗，台词分配要差不多
SW- Q-皇后 M- H-猎人P- D-小矮人 音乐起,旁白 A long time ago, In a beautiful kingdom, there lived a young king and queen, the people loved them so much; the queen died while giving birth to a girl, her name was Snow White, She was a beautiful princess. Year passed, the king got married again, The people didn’t love the new queen, because she was cruel. One day, In the king’s palace: ----白雪出场 S.w: My name is Snow white , I am a beautiful princess, I miss my mother so much, Where is my mother ? Where is my mother ?
两人演的英语故事或小品的剧本，要翻译，要小学生能背出来并且不难（看起来要有点难，实际上不难）转补充
(注意礼貌)Helen: Do you think the cat's okay?Alice: The cat? Seems fine to me. Why?Helen: I think we should take it to the doctor. It doesn't seem right to me.Alice: It's OK.Helen: No, It's not! You never listen to me. Alice, can you take it to the doctor?Alice: I'm sorry Helen. I'm working at the moment. Anyway, It seems alright, aren't you Kitty?Helen: I told you It's not well! Right, if you don't care, I'll take it!Helen left.Alice: What's wrong with her?海伦：你觉得这只猫的健康吗
爱丽斯：这只猫
似乎没什么问题。
为什么问
海伦：我想我们应该带它看医生。
我看它有些不妥。
爱丽斯：它没不妥。
海伦：不，它不是
你从来不听我的。
爱丽丝，你可以带它去看医生
爱丽斯：我很抱歉，海伦。
我目前正在工作。
无论如何，它看似乎没问题，不是吗小猫儿
海伦：我告诉你，它是病了
对了，如果你不在乎，我带它去
海伦离开爱丽斯：她有什么问题吗
适合多人表演的英语短剧，符合中学生
短剧： The and the Hare（） 旁白：Good morning everyone. Now, I will tell you a story about Mr. and Miss Hare. In a very big forest, there lives many different kinds of animals, like monkeys, chicks, a Hare and an honest . Miss Hare is very proud of her long legs and she looks down upon Mr. Tortoise. Today, near the river, an interesting thing is happening. 兔子：Hi! Mr. Tortoise. What are you doing? 乌龟：Hi! Miss Hare. I am walking. 兔子：Why do not you put four wheels on your feet? You will run much faster than now. 乌龟：No, I would run with my feet step by step. I’m sure I win. I could be the winner. 兔子： what? run? Just like now? Ah, Ah, Ah, You are too slow. I can even walk faster than you run. 乌龟：Miss Hare, You are too proud. We should have a race. I believe I can run faster than you. That means I can win the match. 兔子：What? What? A race? With you? You can win? OK. OK. Look at the tall tree. Let me see who can get there first. 乌龟：OK ! 兔子：Who will be the winner? Of course, It is me. 旁白：Many animals hear about the message that Mr. Tortoise and Miss Hare will have a race. They all come to the place near the river. 猴子: Mr. Tortoise, Are you ill? You must know your legs are much shorter than Miss Hare’s. That is to say you would fail the race. 乌龟: Don’t worry. I will try my best. I believe myself. 小鸡: Oh, My God! Do not join the race, and you will not be the winner, 乌龟: You are my good friends. Please believe in me. I can win the race . 猴子: Ready? Go! 旁白： Miss Hare runs very fast, but Mr. Tortoise runs very slowly. A moment later, Miss Hare arrives at a small tree. 兔子: Where is Mr. Tortoise? I can not see . Oh, he is much far behind me. I think he will arrive here at least in the afternoon, Let me have a good rest. 旁白： Miss Hare wants to have a rest, but after a moment, he a little sleepy. 乌龟: How tired, but I can not give up. I must insist. I can arrive at the tall tree. 兔子: Oh, It is Miss Hare. He is sleeping now. I must run faster at sleeping time. 旁白: Miss Hare is sleeping, while Mr. Tortoise is running much faster now. Now Mr. Tortoise arrives near the tree. 猴子和小鸡: Mr. Tortoise, Come on, Come on. You could be the winner! 兔子: Who is making the noise? Ah? Mr. Tortoise? He will win? Oh, no. Let me catch up with . Oh, It is too late, he is the winner, I fail the race. But I do not know why? Do you know?
推荐一个英语话剧，适合初中生演的，最好人多一点，每个人台词简单多一点。
跪求
百万英镑，不错的，这是我推荐的，里面人数大概在20人左右，主角5个，非常帅气，其中就是亨利台词多一些，其他都很少，推荐表演在餐馆吃饭那一幕，更为简单却又倍加幽默。
请问有没有适合四个女生表演的英文话剧啊，最好每个人的台词差不多，十分钟就可以了，谢谢啦
注意前缀
魔术表演（有中英文台词的）
简单的扑克小魔术 1简单的扑克小魔术 现象：魔术师手拿一副扑克牌，桌面上放一张黑桃A和一张梅花A。
魔术师开始整齐的发牌，让观众喊停。
当观众喊停时，魔术师将黑桃A放置发的那堆牌的最顶端，然后把发的那堆牌整齐的合起来放置手中的牌的下端。
整理好牌。
再次发牌，观众再次喊停，魔术师把梅花A放置发的牌的上端，再整齐的合牌。
把合起来的牌放置手中的牌的下端。
魔术师把牌放在桌面上，一展开牌，拿出黑桃A和黑桃A的上面一张牌，放在桌子的一旁。
再拿出梅花A和梅花A的上面一张。
打开两张牌，竟然是四张A摆在桌面上。
让观众大吃一惊。
解秘：只要在变魔术之前，事先把一张红桃A放在牌的最顶端，再放方块A在牌的最下端。
按照上面的步骤来做就可以了。
四 K 相 聚 准备工作：首先将四张“K”从整副扑克里挑出来，再选两张其他的牌，将它们插到第二张“K”的后面。
（注意：须将六张牌规整整齐，不能让观众发现四张“K”中夹有两张其他的牌） 魔术步骤： 1） 将这叠“K”呈扇形打开显示给观众看后(将两张杂牌隐藏在第三张K后面)，然后将这四张牌(实际是六张)收拢面朝下放到整副扑克的顶部。
2） 告诉观众这四位“国王”是非常好的朋友，他们是不会分开的。
3） 将顶牌“K”放到整副牌的底部，你可以把这张牌显示给观众看。
4） 将下一张顶牌（不是“K”）插到中间。
5） 重复步骤四。
6） 现在将第四张留在顶部。
你可以翻开它向观众展示是一张“K”。
7） 一边从中间部位进行切牌，将下半部分放到上面，一边可以对观众解说：“四位国王是非常好的朋友，所以即使他们被分开了，自己也会很快回到一起的”。
8） 将整副牌呈扇形打开，向观众展示四张“K”已经神奇地聚到了一起。
纯手法认牌法 用一副普通的扑克，让观众随便乱洗，并让他从中选一张，交到魔术者手中，这时，魔术表演者右手大拇指在下，其余4指在上，让牌竖着并背对自己，注意手的位置要低于自己的胸，手指用力，使牌向内拱，这时正好可以看到牌角的点数和花色。
注意的是动作要自然，要快，牌不要弯的太凶，只要牌的位置低，刚刚能看到点数就行了，这个方法要表演的好才行。
谢谢，顶一个
寻 扑 克 寻扑克 表演： ⑴ 表演者拿一副扑克牌，展开交代牌面牌背，表示没有什么秘密。
⑵ 尔后洗牌几次，请一位观众上台，由他再洗牌几次。
表演者两手伸出，手掌向上，请观众把牌分成两堆，牌背向上，分别放在表演者的左、右手掌上面。
⑶ 表演者对台上观众说：“在两堆牌中任选一堆牌，把这堆牌拿去，并看清楚记住最上面一张牌，是什么牌点和花色，也给台下观众看清，但不让表演者知道。
再把看过的牌放回这堆牌的最上面。
” ⑷ 表演者把另一堆牌叠在观众选的一堆牌上面，堆他说：“你看过的一张牌，在全牌中什么地方，知道么
”观众说：“不知道。
”表演者说：“你按我的办法去做，就能知道在什么地方了。
” ⑸ 接着请观众面朝台下，把牌移到背后。
第一步，先把最上面的一张牌移到牌的下面。
第二步，再把现在上面的一张牌翻转过来，使牌面向上，并任意插进全牌中间。
这两步办完以后，把全牌拿到身前。
⑹ 表演者说：“你把牌展开，牌背向上，找出你刚才翻转牌面向上的一张牌，在它的下面一张牌，就是你看清记住的一张牌。
”观众照样去做，果然是他看清记住的牌，并给台下观众察看。
⑺ 为什么由观众翻转的一张牌，在身后插牌时正好插在看清记住牌的上面呢
真是神秘莫测。
揭秘： ⑴ 扑克牌是没有任何秘密，临时借用也可以，秘密是在台上观众选定表演者手上的一堆牌，拿去看最上面一张牌并给台下观众也看清的时候。
⑵ 这时，表演者趁机迅速地把手中另一堆牌，最下面一张翻转，使它牌面向上，尔后又把最上面第二张牌也翻转，使它牌面向上，这两张牌翻转是这套魔术的关键，完成后就大功告成。
⑶ 台上观众按照你的两步办法移牌，第一步把最上面的一张牌，移到最下面，这是为第二步做准备。
第二步，把上面一张牌翻转，这是迷惑人的一着，在观众想象是由牌背向上翻成牌面向上，而不知这张牌是已被表演者翻成牌面向上了，现在经观众翻转，却翻成牌背向上，与其他牌的方向一致了。
⑷ 最后观众把牌展开，牌背向上，从中看见一张翻转的牌，牌面向上，以为就是他自己在身后翻转的牌，而这张牌正叠在他记住牌的正面。
⑸ 所以观众在翻转牌的后面，看到一张是他记住的牌时，就觉得惊奇了. 一个很准的计算器魔术 出生月份‘日期1．让对方键入出生月份2．乘以4，再加93．乘以25，加上出生日期取回计算器，减去225前两位（或前一位）为出生月份，后两位为出生日期． 魔术基本洗牌大法 耐心点看吧~~~魔术洗牌法： 魔术洗牌法和普通洗牌完全不同。
在扑克魔术中，多数项目都要经过洗牌的过程，其目的就是要把观众的抽牌或表演者所需的牌洗到一定的位置，使能达到预期的效果。
表演者熟练魔术洗牌法后，洗牌的动作就很自然，在观众看来，没有特殊的手法，而表演者却能随心所欲。
因此要表演扑克魔术，首先要学会魔术洗牌法。
基法不下十余种，今举四例，以供参考。
