求一段幽默获奖感言。
我很高兴得了第一，感谢大家给我的支持，感谢团体的努力，感谢在座的每一位朋友，感谢我亲爱的父母们，如果没有他们就没有今天的我，感谢CCTV，，感谢中央电视台，，感谢，，，，，，自己编的呵呵
奥巴马的获奖感言..
您好，是的，梅丽尔·斯特里普是一个有胆识，有想法的演员，中国是缺少这样的演员、
09年诺贝尔和平奖获得者奥巴马的获奖发言
主持人：接下来我们看到美国总统奥巴马正在发表关于赢得诺贝尔和平奖的感言，我们到现场看一下。
奥巴马：我非常意外也很谦逊的荣获这一殊荣，这样一个奖项不仅仅是对于我个人所做的一些工作的成就的一种肯定，同时也包含了许多其他各个方面所做的努力和他们的意志。
这样一个奖项不仅激励了我进一步的努力，也给全世界带来一个非常振奋人心的信号，我们希望建立一个更好的世界。
我知道纵观历史，诺贝尔和平奖，不仅仅授予给某一个人，因为他所做的某种努力。
诺贝尔和平奖更是一种荣耀，是对于所有国家，是对于世界各国人民的一种和平的信号。
诺贝尔和平奖不仅仅是激励某一国家、某一国民。
因此，对于我个人而言，获得这样一个奖项，我希望能够促进世界的和平，能够促进世界的核裁军，使核武器尽快的消失，能让人们在和平的环境下生活。
同时呢，我也希望世界各国人民能够和平地利用核能。
同时呢，气候变化问题，也是我们必须面对的一个挑战。
现在气候变暖，正在威胁许多岛国和一些沿海国家，面对如何应对气候变化问题。
现在各国还存在一定的分歧，但是我希望我们能够放弃自己的一些，各个国家自身的利益，从大局出发，能够看到一个完整的局势画面。
同时呢，中东和平问题也是我们必须关注的一个问题。
目前我们的世界并不是非常和平的世界，还有很多人享受不到他们应得的权利，他们无法生活在安全和平的环境中。
现在世界很多地方还存在着暴力现象。
尽管现在我们努力寻求建立一个和平繁荣的国际社会，（我们每一个人）有义务结束战争。
同时我们也希望能够消除那些对美国和美国的盟国，构成威胁的那些敌对势力，所有这些都需要我们国际社会的共同合作。
目前我们面临的许多工作，可能在我的任期之内并不能完全解决，比如说核裁军问题，可能不会在我的有生之年得到解决。
但是我相信只要人们意识到这一问题的存在，人们努力去解决问题，总有一天可能会实现所有的和平和繁荣。
所以，这样一种努力必须得到全球所有人民的支持。
所以我们需要学习和支持那些，为民主、为和平所献身、所努力的人们。
他们有的时候牺牲他们的自由，牺牲生命来换取和平，这也是美国的责任，这也是为什么世界关注着美国如何实现我们的责任，谢谢。
张家辉在金像奖的获奖感言
多谢多谢。
刚的想叫他们（吴君如与曾志伟两位颁奖嘉宾）快一从提名到现在，整整两，真的好折磨。
我看到奥巴马可以当总统，我想，咦，有机会哦
现在虽然这个奖在我的手中，我相信凭我一个人，我不能拿到这个奖的，这个奖属于大家，我们的团队。
首先要多谢大会评审……还有《证人》中的一帮拍档，多谢你们与我合作，可以拿到这个奖，多谢。
其实在我自己的演艺转化过程中，有两个人，我想要多谢的。
一个是杜琪峰先生，和他合作获益良多。
首先他介绍了一间，好抵食的海鲜店给我。
接着是一个在《放逐》里面每个团友都去看的、很负责任的医生，最重要他介绍一个风水先生，可能与获这个奖有关。
另一个要感谢的人是王晶先生，因为在转化过程中，自己都好害怕，途中都很孤独、很难捱，幸好王晶先生一路沿途不断说回来啦，回来赌，麻将、天九、牌九，什么都好，回来赌吧，令到我觉得还有王晶先生看着我。
这个奖呢，我自己在这两个月里面想过好多事情，有些人拿到这个奖会很牛，有些人拿了奖去了做小贩，如果我那么不幸，属于去做小贩那一类，希望大家记得第28届男主角是张家辉，Thankyou，多谢大家
还有，我还要多谢去世的姐姐，还有太太，她照顾我的小朋友好好，让我安心工作。
多谢，多谢大家。
“
2009年12月9日，美国总统奥巴马在挪威首都奥斯陆接受诺贝尔和平奖，他在发表获奖感言时指出：对我个人而
最后，对那些开车进来时看到了仇视（同志）的标语的人，我想，那些投票同意禁止同性恋婚姻的人们，现在是时候让坐下来反思一下了，（他们应该想到）如果他们继续这样的话，他们将来会感到无比羞耻的，他们的子孙后代，也会为他们感到羞耻。
谁能给我一些奥斯卡的颁奖词和获奖感言 要英文的就行
【第81届奥斯卡最佳男女主角】And the Oscar goes to Sean Penn.Thank you. Thank you. You commie, homo-loving sons-of-guns. I did not expect this, but I, and I want it to be very clear, that I do know how hard I make it to appreciate me often. But I am touched by the appreciation and I hoped for it enough that I did want to scribble down, so I had the names in case you were commie, homo-loving sons-of-guns, and so I want to thank my best friend, Sata Matsuzawa. My circle of long-time support, Mara, Brian, Barry and Bob. The great Cleve Jones. Our wonderful writer, Lance Black. Producers Bruce Cohen and Dan Jinks.And particularly, as all, as actors know, our director either has the patience, talent and restraint to grant us a voice or they don't, and it goes from the beginning of the meeting, to through the cutting room. And there is no finer hands to be in than Gus Van Sant. And finally, for those, two last finallies, for those who saw the signs of hatred as our cars drove in tonight, I think that it is a good time for those who voted for the ban against gay marriage to sit and reflect and anticipate their great shame and the shame in their grandchildren's eyes if they continue that way of support. We've got to have equal rights for everyone. And there are, and there are, these last two things. I'm very, very proud to live in a country that is willing to elect an elegant man president and a country who, for all its toughness, creates courageous artists. And this is in great due respect to all the nominees, but courageous artists, who despite a sensitivity that sometimes has brought enormous challenge, Mickey Rourke rises again and he is my brother. Thank you all very much.And the Oscar goes to Kate Winslet.Ok, that fainting thing Penelope! (referring to Penelope Cruz Oscar speech earlier)“I’d be lying if I have not made a version of this speech before, I think I was probably 8 years old and staring into the bathroom mirror. And this (holding up her statuette) would’ve been a shampoo bottle.“Well, it’s not a shampoo bottle now!“I feel very fortunate to have made it all the way from there to here.“And I’d like to thank some of the people along the way who had faith in me, my friends and my family, especially my mum and dad, who are in this room somewhere.“Dad, whistle or something, ’cause then I’ll know where you are. (He whistles.) Yeah! (Waving to him.) I love you.“And I also want to thank Hylda Queally, Dallas Smith and the late, much loved, much missed Robert Garlock.“And from Peter Jackson and Emma Thompson to my very own Sam and Stephen Daldry.“I’m very lucky to have been given Hanna Schmitz by Bernhard Schlink and David Hare and Stephen and working with you is an experience I will never forget.“There was no division between the cast and the crew on this film, and that’s what made it so special.“So, to have been surrounded by a remarkable group of people who provided an unbroken chain of support from David Kross to Ralph Fiennes, Bruno Ganz, Lena Olin, from hair and makeup to cinematography, from the art department to the ADs, and from New York to Berlin.“And I am so lucky to have a wonderful husband and two beautiful children who let me do what I love and who love me just the way that I am.“Anthony and Sidney, this is for you. This is for both of you.“And I want to acknowledge my fellow nominees, these goddesses. I think we all can’t believe we’re in a category with Meryl Streep at all.“I’m sorry, Meryl, but you have to just suck that up! And, just to the Academy, thank you so much, my God! Thank you!”【Oscar Awards of Speech奥斯卡颁奖典礼】Good evening! Ladies and gentlemen,Thank you! Thank you so much! Oh, my god. I just can’t believe it . Is it real or am I just dream? Please forgive me, I am, I am just so shocked and so thankful. I never expected this award tonight. I’m very grateful to receive this award for “Best Actress.” I can’t begin to tell you how much I appreciate this great honor. There are so many people I’d like to thank. First of all, I want to thank my parents for bringing me into this world. I also want to express my gratitude to all of my teachers over the years, but especially to my acting teacher Clark Johnson who taught me everything I know. I want to thank my husband, for his understanding and kindness. And finally, I want to express my appreciation to all of my friends for their support, especially to Martin Miller, for being there when I needed him. There are just too many people I should thank and I know I am probably forgetting someone. So again, I just want to say thank you to everyone who helped me, supported me, or just listened to me when I needed a shoulder to cry on. This award means a great deal to me. Words can’t express how honored I feel at this moment. I will remember this night for the rest of my life! Thank you very much.【(Ang Lee)】: I wish I knew how to quit you. First of all, I want to thank two people who don’t even exist. Or I should say, they do exist, because of the imagination of Annie Proulx（注:小说原作者） and the artistry of Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana（注:两人均为电影作者）. Their names are Ennis and Jack. And they taught all of us who made “Brokeback Mountain” so much about not just all the gay men and women whose love is denied by society, but just as important, the greatness of love itself.… 谢谢大家! 点评：作为一位文人导演，机智而风趣地引用的经典台词“I wish I knew how to quit you.（我希望我能知道如何戒掉你。
）”表达对的重视。
他的感言理性中透出对艺术的热爱。
最后一句中文“谢谢大家”充分体现了一位华人导演对母语的尊敬。
【 (George Clooney)】: All right, so I’m not winning director.…We’re the ones who talk about AIDS when it was just being whispered, and we talked about civil rights when it wasn’t really popular. …This Academy, this group of people gave Hattie McDaniel an Oscar in 1939 when blacks were still sitting in the backs of theatres. … 点评：的幽默风趣，并且运用了排比句式使发言更加条理和有力。
同时，他对政治问题的关注如民权和种族问题也淋漓尽致地体现在他的致辞中。
————————————————————————————————以上是我在不同的网站找到的。
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也不知道能不能帮到你。
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下面是奥斯卡官方的网站，是英文的。
打开“OscarNight”下面的“winners”就能看到全部的获奖人员及他们的发言。
就不知道你是不是能够打开了，速度可能会很慢。
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